Showing posts with label Office. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Office. Show all posts
Monday, 30 March 2015
Saturday, 28 March 2015
Ramasamy & Madasamy
Ramasamy passed B.tech and placed at SYNDICATE BANK after clearing IBPS exam. Annual income 3 lakhs. His Relatives, Family friends of wished him for success. That's it Ramasamy face glowed like Petramax light and thought himself from today every day will be happy.
Madasamy beside to Ramasamy house got failed in Degree. All his relatives and family friends blamed Madasamy as everyone in Hyderabad is studying B.tech but Madasamy even failed in degree. Every one gave him suggestions like to sell Idly, Dosa…. Put Pan shop… or sell Milk… His Father was very much embarrassed. Now what to do…? Madasamy asked his mother 2 lakhs and borrowed 2 more lakhs then bought buffaloes and started Milk Business.
Ramasamy bought bike through credit card and started to office. Madasamy on TVS with Milk Cans also started to sell. Ramasamy proudly said 'Hai' to Madasamy. Madasamy with embarrass look said 'Hai' and left to their duties.
6 months passed away….
Ramasamy cleared 20% interest over bike; still actual price 80K is pending. Madasamy cleared 1 lakh out of his 2lakh borrowed money. Both faced each other, Ramasamy gave small smile thinking that when he will clear 80K. Madasamy also gave narrow smile by thinking about his remaining 1 lakh loan.
Ramasamy cleared 20% interest over bike; still actual price 80K is pending. Madasamy cleared 1 lakh out of his 2lakh borrowed money. Both faced each other, Ramasamy gave small smile thinking that when he will clear 80K. Madasamy also gave narrow smile by thinking about his remaining 1 lakh loan.
1 year passed away…..
Ramasamy put hopes on DA hike. Now half liter milk price increased to 14/-Rs from 10/-Rs. This profited Madasamy to 30% and cleared remaining 1 lakh loan amount. By now anyhow Ramasamy cleared his Bike loan and brought Personnel loan of 2 lakhs for 16% interest. Ramasamy bought furniture, LCD, LapTop with 2 that lakhs. Every One accolade Ramasamy as he brought these accessories in just 2 years of job. Now Madasamy with his Profited money brought 12 more buffaloes. His income doubled.
Ramasamy put hopes on DA hike. Now half liter milk price increased to 14/-Rs from 10/-Rs. This profited Madasamy to 30% and cleared remaining 1 lakh loan amount. By now anyhow Ramasamy cleared his Bike loan and brought Personnel loan of 2 lakhs for 16% interest. Ramasamy bought furniture, LCD, LapTop with 2 that lakhs. Every One accolade Ramasamy as he brought these accessories in just 2 years of job. Now Madasamy with his Profited money brought 12 more buffaloes. His income doubled.
Again both faced each other. Ramasamy gave doubtful smile thinking about his Personnel loan. Madasamy gave heart full smile since he doesn't have any debts.
After 2 Years Ramasamy got increment. He then bought a Maruthi Wagan R car through Car Loan. Mean time Madasamy bought 2 acres land for his 3 dozens of buffaloes. Even Milk Prices raised to 30% again. Now Madasamy income is 200% more than Ramasamy. Madasamy owned one Auto to sell Milk. One more time both faced each other. By thinking his Loans and Interests Ramasamy unable to give whole Hearted Smile. Whereas Madasamy smiled confidently from his own Auto.
After 2 Years Ramasamy got increment. He then bought a Maruthi Wagan R car through Car Loan. Mean time Madasamy bought 2 acres land for his 3 dozens of buffaloes. Even Milk Prices raised to 30% again. Now Madasamy income is 200% more than Ramasamy. Madasamy owned one Auto to sell Milk. One more time both faced each other. By thinking his Loans and Interests Ramasamy unable to give whole Hearted Smile. Whereas Madasamy smiled confidently from his own Auto.
2 more years passed away…..!
Ramasamy applied to 40 lakhs home loan and bought one apartment. Madasamy buffaloes number crossed Century. Madasamy bought 2 apartments. Ramasamy got 10 more percent salary hike under X BPS. Milk price crossed 40/Rs per liter now. Total income of Madasamy is 500% more than the income of Ramasamy. That's all Madasamy bought 1 Skoda and 1 Innova Car. Both faced each other. Ramasamy gave tension smile by thinking that when he will clear 40 lakh loan. Madasamy gave Confident smile since he own a single size Milk Factory with more than 100 buffaloes and 25 workers.
That night Ramasamy was in a deep frustration. Because after 5 years Madasamy own 4 crores of Money, monthly 5 lakhs of income, provided jobs to 25 workers. Ramasamy salary is 4 lakhs with 40 lakhs debt and un satisfactory job. This is the BANKERS LIFE.
Facts: In 2008 Milk was 10/- litre. Now 40/- litre. Gold 12500/- 10 grams, Now 30000/-. In the last 5 years salary hikes for BANKERS was just 15%. All commodity prices increased to 300%. Still many people from outside think about BANKERS that as they earn in lakhs… For them show this or share……..
Ramasamy applied to 40 lakhs home loan and bought one apartment. Madasamy buffaloes number crossed Century. Madasamy bought 2 apartments. Ramasamy got 10 more percent salary hike under X BPS. Milk price crossed 40/Rs per liter now. Total income of Madasamy is 500% more than the income of Ramasamy. That's all Madasamy bought 1 Skoda and 1 Innova Car. Both faced each other. Ramasamy gave tension smile by thinking that when he will clear 40 lakh loan. Madasamy gave Confident smile since he own a single size Milk Factory with more than 100 buffaloes and 25 workers.
That night Ramasamy was in a deep frustration. Because after 5 years Madasamy own 4 crores of Money, monthly 5 lakhs of income, provided jobs to 25 workers. Ramasamy salary is 4 lakhs with 40 lakhs debt and un satisfactory job. This is the BANKERS LIFE.
Facts: In 2008 Milk was 10/- litre. Now 40/- litre. Gold 12500/- 10 grams, Now 30000/-. In the last 5 years salary hikes for BANKERS was just 15%. All commodity prices increased to 300%. Still many people from outside think about BANKERS that as they earn in lakhs… For them show this or share……..
Tags: Litre, Gasoline and diesel usage and pricing, Hyderabad, India, India, Alcohol intoxication, Anti-lock braking system, Auto rickshaw, Autoblog.com, Autocar, Business Standard
Saturday, 7 March 2015
Don't Mess With HR of your Company
Deadly one must read!!!
All salary ppl must read this:-----
After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been
prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me,
smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked
here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain,
and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14
days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
.
So, How many days do you work ?
Read More
All salary ppl must read this:-----
After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been
prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me,
smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked
here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain,
and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14
days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
.
So, How many days do you work ?
Wednesday, 25 February 2015
Junior & Boss Trolls
๐
A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min ☕
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2? ๐ก
Jr : No!
Boss: I'm the BOSS ๐บ
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected) ๐๐๐
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
How to Get Really Smart
A customer at Stingray Fishmongers marvelled at the owner's quick wit and intelligence.
'Tell me, Simon, what makes you so smart?'
'I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone, 'Simon replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear.' But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.'
'You sell them here?' the customer asks.
'Only $4 apiece', says Simon.Fishy tales Will and Guy's humour
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
'You didn't eat enough, 'says Simon. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
'Hey, Simon, 'he complains, 'you're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. you're ripping me off!'
'You see?' says Simon, 'you're smarter already.'
Tags: Fish, Fisherman, Fishing, Artificial reef, Bangs Lake, Bass Pro Shops, Black pepper, Boat, Boss (video gaming), CBS
'Tell me, Simon, what makes you so smart?'
'I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone, 'Simon replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear.' But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant.'
'You sell them here?' the customer asks.
'Only $4 apiece', says Simon.Fishy tales Will and Guy's humour
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
'You didn't eat enough, 'says Simon. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
'Hey, Simon, 'he complains, 'you're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. you're ripping me off!'
'You see?' says Simon, 'you're smarter already.'
Tags: Fish, Fisherman, Fishing, Artificial reef, Bangs Lake, Bass Pro Shops, Black pepper, Boat, Boss (video gaming), CBS
Have You Heard This One?
Two West Country yokels were on the train heading homewards through Somerset, England when one of them noticed some cows.
'What a lovely bunch of cows.' he remarked.
'Not a bunch, herd,' his mate replied.
'Heard of what?'
'Herd of cows.'
'Of course I've heard of cows.'
'No, a cow herd.'
'What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow.'
Tags: Cattle, Police car, Somerset, Czech Republic, Intimidation, Jaromฤล, Police officer, 2001 United Kingdom foot-and-mouth outbreak, Adnams Brewery, Australia–United States relations
'What a lovely bunch of cows.' he remarked.
'Not a bunch, herd,' his mate replied.
'Heard of what?'
'Herd of cows.'
'Of course I've heard of cows.'
'No, a cow herd.'
'What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow.'
Tags: Cattle, Police car, Somerset, Czech Republic, Intimidation, Jaromฤล, Police officer, 2001 United Kingdom foot-and-mouth outbreak, Adnams Brewery, Australia–United States relations
Breaking News:
3 Days holiday declared by PM Narendra Modi for All Schools,Colleges and Offices to celebrate India's Victory On:
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29,30,31 of this month!!
***ENJOY***
Sunday, 8 February 2015
Dedication to my Salary
A guy calls up the radio station
"Hi, I'd like you play the song 'Tu hai ke nahi' from the movie Roy"
RJ - Nice choice. To whom would you like to dedicate this beautiful song?
Guy - To my salary
Read More
"Hi, I'd like you play the song 'Tu hai ke nahi' from the movie Roy"
RJ - Nice choice. To whom would you like to dedicate this beautiful song?
Guy - To my salary
Saturday, 7 February 2015
Vijayakanth Calling Help Desk
Vijaykanth ring ๐ a call centre,
"My internet is not working properly."
Officer:
"Ok
Double click on "My computer" ๐ป
Vijaykanth:
"I can't see ur computer "
Officer:
"No no
click on "My computer" on ur computer."
Vijaykanth:
"How can I click on ur computer from my computer?"
Officer:
"Listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur computer.
Double click on it."
Vijaykanth:
"What the hell , what is your computer doing on my
computer..?"
Officer:
"Double click on ur computer."
Vijaykanth:
"On which Icon i've to click?"
Officer:
"My Computer"
Vijaykanth:
"Ada veena ponavane"
Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and click on ur
"Computer."
Officer:
๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง
(Height of Smiley usage) ๐
Presentation Matters
๐ฌ 2 Wives chatting in office :
Wife 1: I had a fine evening, how was Urs???
Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?
Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. ๐ฒ After dinner we walked for an hour.๐ซ When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale !
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you ?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.We walked home which took an hour & when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house !!!!!!
๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐
๐
MORAL: PRESENTATION DOES MATTER... NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS !!!
Man's Matter of Survival
Telling a lie is a
Sin for a child..
Fault for an adult.
An art for a lover
A profession for a lawyer.
A requirement for a politician.
A Management tool for a Boss.
An accomplishment for a bachelor.
An excuse for a subordinate and.....
A Matter of Survival for a married man.
A Women Diary
A heart touching message..... by a
woman..."
Some one asked her.......
Are you a working woman or a house-
wife ??
She replied : Yes I am a full time
working house-wife.
I work 24 hours a day.....
I'm a "mum",
I'm a wife,
I'm a daughter,
I'm a daughter-in-law.....
I'm an Alarm clock,
I'm a Cook,
I'm a Maid,
I'm a Teacher,
I'm a waiter,
I'm a nanny,
I'm a nurse,
I'm a handyman,
I'm a Security officer,
I'm a Counsellor,
I'm a comforter,
I don't get holidays,
I don't get sick leave,
I don't get day off......
I work through day and night.....
I'm on call......
all hours and get paid with a
sentence.....
"what do you do all day"
★ [ DON,T FORGET TO SHARE ] ๐๐๐๐๐
Dedicated to all women๐๐
๐๐Woman has the most unique character like salt
Her presence is never remembered but Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!๐พ๐
Pass it to all the lovely ladies.....your Mother. .....your Wife......your daughter ...your sister.....your friend๐
Friday, 6 February 2015
Who should be a World Leader among these 3?
Who shud be a World Leader among these 3?
Mr A - He had frienship with bad politicians, consults astrologers,
two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.
Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium
in college & drinks whiskey every evening.
Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks
an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
You would want Mr.C to be d leader.
But..
Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!
Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!
&
Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!
Strange but true..
Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.
Mr A - He had frienship with bad politicians, consults astrologers,
two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.
Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium
in college & drinks whiskey every evening.
Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks
an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
You would want Mr.C to be d leader.
But..
Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!
Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!
&
Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!
Strange but true..
Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.
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