Monday 27 July 2015

Unknown Fact of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

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There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.

His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"

The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children.

He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.

Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines.

The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if
you are hungry.

The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what about Children ??"
Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition

The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss eventhough the stress was tremendous.

By the way , can you guess as who the boss was ????????
.
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Ex- President of India...!!!

Must read ЁЯСМ

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Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam's Inspirational Speech

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Ramayana Trolled

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In a class where snippets from the Ramayana were being taught....

Teacher: The squirrel got its 3 stripes because Rama affectionately ran his fingers on its back.

Tintu Mon: Don't bluff sir, if that is the case then Sita should look like a zebra.....,.. ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭЁЯШДЁЯШДЁЯШД

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Sunday 26 July 2015

Can't Hear in Kitchen

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Joe was a house keeper who had this habit of drinking from his boss's wine bottle and replacing it with water.  ?

The boss, Sam, did suspect him but tolerated it for a while..

But when this became a daily routine, Sam decided to do something to trap Joe.

So he shouted: "Joe?"

Joe answered from the kitchen: "Yes boss?"

Sam: "Who drank my wine and added water in the bottle?" 

There was no answer from the kitchen. 

The boss repeated the question, still no answer.  

The angry boss marched to the kitchen and threatened Joe,

"What the hell is going on? When I call your name you respond with 'Yes Boss' but when I ask you a question, you remain silent. What is this !!!"

Joe said: "It is like this. In the kitchen, you can hear only your name being called..

You don't hear anything else that is said, I swear."

Sam: "How is that possible? All right, I will prove you wrong..

You stay right here in the hall with Madam,

I will go to the kitchen and you ask me a question"

So the boss went to the kitchen.

Joe shouted: "Boss?"

Boss: "Yes Joe?"

Joe: "Who got the maid pregnant?"

No reply.

Joe, yet again: "And who arranged for her abortion?"
Once again silence..

Sam came running from the kitchen and said: "you are right Joe. When one is in kitchen, one can't hear anything but one's name.  That's bloody strange. !"?...☺☺☺ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШЬЁЯШЬЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШ╖ЁЯШ╖ЁЯШ╖ЁЯШ▓ЁЯШ▓

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Trust Your Inner Voice ЁЯШК

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Once upon a time,
Two young boys were playing on thin ice.

As they were playing, one of them fell through that ice into the lake underneath.

The other one tried hard and he couldn't reach his friend through that gap.

So he walked up to a tree, pulled and broke a branch of enormous size.

He came back and started beating the ice and he saved his friend.

When the paramedics came and they were able to revive the kid, they were baffled and they couldn't understand that how did his friend break an enormous sized branch and then beat the ice and save his friend.

They thought it was IMPOSSIBLE

Then the old man who was standing there said, "I can tell you how he did it."

They said, How..? How he did it.

The old man said,
There was no one here to Tell him that he CAN'T do it.

Trust Your Inner Voice ЁЯШК

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What is infinite Loop??

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The boss calls his female secretary & says:"Get ready for d weekend, We r going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss r going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself"

The husband calls his girlfriend & says:"My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun"

The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition: "No tuition this weekend."

The boy calls his father:"Dad, at last we can spend this weekend together."

Dad (The boss) calls his secretary & says:"Business trip is cancelled. I'm going to spend weekend with my son"

The secretary calls husband:"I won't be going"

The husband calls his girlfriend:"I am sorry My wife is not going "

The girlfriend calls boy:"You have tuition"

Boy calls his father & says:"Sorry Dad, I've classes"

The Dad calls his secretary..... ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШЬЁЯШЬЁЯШЬЁЯШЬ

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TN CONQUERING USA

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родрооிро┤்роиாроЯை родройி роиாроЯாроХроХройுроо்ройு роТро░ு роХ்ро░ூрок் родீро╡ிро░рооா ро╡ிро╡ாродроо் рокрог்рогிроХ்роХிроЯ்роЯு роЗро░ுрои்родாроЩ்роХро▓ாроо். роЕродுро▓ роТро░ுрод்родрой் роЪрок்рокோро╕் роиாроо родройி роиாроЯாропிроЯ்роЯ роЕрок்рокுро▒роо் рокொро░ுро│ாродாро░ ро╡ро│ро░்роЪ்роЪி,рооுрой்ройேро▒்ро▒роо் роОро▓்ро▓ாроо் роОрок்рокроЯி роХொрог்роЯுро╡ро░்ро░родுрой்ройு роЕро▒ிро╡ுрок்рокூро░்ро╡рооா роТро░ு роХேро│்ро╡ி роХேроЯ்роЯாрой். роЕродுроХ்роХு роЗрой்ройொро░ு роЕро▒ிро╡ாро│ி рокродிро▓் роЪொрой்ройாрой்.. роЕродாро╡родு,

'роиாроо роЕрооெро░ிроХ்роХாро╡ோроЯ рокோро░் роЕро▒ிро╡ிроЪ்роЪிро░ுро╡ோроо். роОрок்рокроЯிропுроо் роиாроо рокோро░்ро▓ роХрог்роЯிрок்рокா родோрод்родுро░ுро╡ோроо்! роЕрок்рокுро▒роо் роироо்рооро│ роЕрооெро░ிроХ்роХாроХாро░роЩ்роХродாрой் роЖроЯ்роЪி роЪெроп்ро╡ாроЩ்роХ..роХிро░ீрой் роХாро░்роЯ், ро╡ிроЪா роОродுро╡ுрооே роЗро▓்ро▓ாроо роиாроо роЕрооெро░ிроХ்роХா роХுроЯிроороХрой் роЖропிро▒ро▓ாроо்.. роЕрок்рокுро▒роо் рооுрой்ройேро▒ுро▒родு ро░ொроо்рок роИроЪிродாрой!"

роЗродைропெро▓்ро▓ாроо் роХேроЯ்роЯுроХிроЯ்роЯு роЗро░ுрои்род роЗрой்ройொро░ு рокெро░ிроп роЕро▒ிро╡ாро│ி роТро░ு роЪூрок்рокро░் роХேро│்ро╡ி роХேроЯ்роЯாрой்..роОрой்ройрой்ройா....

"роЕродெро▓்ро▓ாроо் роЪро░ி..роТро░ுро╡ேро│ை роиாроо рокோро░்ро▓ роЬெропிроЪ்роЪிроЯ்роЯா роЕрооெро░ிроХாро╡ роОрой்рой рокрог்ро▒родு?"   ЁЯШЙЁЯШнЁЯШ│ЁЯШЬЁЯЗ║ЁЯЗ╕ЁЯЗ║ЁЯЗ╕ЁЯШОЁЯШО

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ЁЯМРSome global opinions on marriages.

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Al Gore ЁЯШЫЁЯШЫ

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭ

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Mike Tyson ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭ

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs ЁЯУДwith me.
- Bill Clinton  ЁЯШЙЁЯШЙ

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- George W. Bush ЁЯС╗

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Rudy Giuliani ЁЯТг

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- Michael Jordan ЁЯШЬЁЯШЬ

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Shaquille O'Neal ЁЯШШЁЯШШ

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..
- Kobe BryantЁЯШбЁЯШб

You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to.
- David HasselhoffЁЯШЮЁЯШЮ

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Alec Baldwin ЁЯШеЁЯШе

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Barack ObamaЁЯШ│ЁЯШ│

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
ЁЯШЬЁЯШБЁЯШВ
ЁЯСМЁЯШГЁЯШВЁЯСН

Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later,
somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..
  
ЁЯНБAn Excellent Line...

"Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by beautiful Deer's".ЁЯШЬЁЯШВЁЯНБ

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Wife Finds Husband's Girl Friend

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ЁЯШЬЁЯШЬЁЯШЭ
A touching love story...

WIFE:
What would you do if i died?
Would you get married again?

Husband:
No...how can I think of marrying?

Wife-
Why not?
You would need company...for good and bad moments....please get married

Husband:
...oh Shona...you are so sweet....even after death u r worrying about me...

Wife: so promise me, u will remarry if I die...

Husband:
Ok, ok, i'd get married again...just for you

Wife:
Would you live in our house with your
new Wife...?

Husband:Yes, but will never let her use your room.

Wife:Would you let her drive my car ?

Husband: no...
its yours...I will keep it as your memory...and buy new one..

Wife:Would you give her my jewelry?

Husband:
No..how can I...
it has your memories attached
I am sure she would want her own..

Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?

Husband: No, never
her size is '7', and yours is 9

Wife:
--silence-

Husband:
'Shiiit'...!!!ЁЯШЭЁЯШКЁЯШЭЁЯШКЁЯШЭЁЯШК

Husband's funeral is on Sunday, please attend......

Dont laugh alone. Pass it on ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ

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Android Phone's Misplacement

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Joker's Wisdom

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A joker told the audience a wonderful joke and all the people started laughing...

Joker repeated the same joke and only few people laughed..????

He again repeated the same joke but this time no one laughed...??????

Then he told these beautiful lines...;

" when you cannot laugh on the same joke again and again...
then why do you cry  again and again on the same worry"

So enjoy your every moment of life..!!
Life is beautiful?????

(1) Nothing  permanent in this world, not even our troubles.

(2) I like walking in the rain, because nobody can see my tears.

(3) The most wasted day in life is the day in which we have not laughed.

Keep smiling and pass this message to everyone whom you want to see smiling.ЁЯША

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Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers

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I laughed..
I m sure u will atleast smile ЁЯШК

A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.

"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".

"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.

One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"

Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.

And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS ЁЯШЬ

Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers ЁЯШВЁЯШВ

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HOW TO INCREASE POSITIVE ENERGY IN OUR HOUSE...

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..

1) Open all windows in the house and allow fresh air and sunshine to enter the house. Free flowing air and sun are negative energy removers

2. Dispose of all the old unwanted things lying in the house. Clutter is a negativity magnet. It attracts and accumulates negative energy in the house.

3). Walking barefoot in the house helps all your negative energy to be absorbed by the earth.
Grounding is important to keep the energy balance in our body.

4) In the olden days, footwears were kept out of the house. People used to enter the house only after washing feet with water. This action ensures that all the negativity remains outside or are grounded by earth and does not enter the house. Now it has become difficult to keep the footwear outside. So preferably remove them near the entrance door.

5) Go out in the open air. Take walks in the garden or open ground. Being amongst nature re-energizes or charges you fully.

6) Sweeping the floor also ensures that the negative energies are shaken and moved out with the dirt.

7)  Rock salt is another negativity remover. Wash or mop your floor with a fistful rock salt in a bucket of water. This ensures that every nook and corner of the house is rid of negative energy.

8) Potted plants or trees around your house or society also ensures more positive energy in the house and area.

9) Bathing or Soaking your legs and hands in rock salt water once in a while removes the negativity attached to your body and cleanse your aura.

11)   Repetition of Prayers,  increases the positive vibrations in the house. 100%

11)  Keep your thoughts, action and speech Positive. Negative thoughts will bring in negative vibes. So avoid all negative thoughts, speech and actions.

12) Keep your house well lit and illuminated. Light removes negativity.

13) Keep faith in God and in yourself.
You are the Creator of your own destiny by the Choices you make.

STAY HAPPY
STAY BLESSED

In our group everyone must read....
All families should live happily....

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Life is simple. we complicate it.

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Superb msg...ЁЯСНЁЯШК

On a thundering rainy day, Mom went to pick her six year son from school thinking that he will fear lightning.

But she found him smiling at the sky for every lightning..
She asks, "Why are you smiling..?"
Son : "God is taking my Pictures & I need to look good.."

Life is simple.
we complicate it.  ЁЯШКЁЯСН
  Happy SundayЁЯТР

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Husband & Wife Trolling Credit Card Company

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☁✈☁✈☁✈☁✈☁

Rajesh and Mona  flying to Australia to celebrate their anniversary
when suddenly, over the PA system, the Pilot announces,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.

Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.

However, the odds are that we may never be rescued as it is a totally unknown island. So we may have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later after deep thought, Rajesh turns to his wife and
still shaken from the crash landing, asks

"Mona, have we paid our  Credit Card dues yet?"

"Oh, No! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,"

"And Did you send cheque for the auto loan this month?" he asks.

"Oh! Forgive me, Rajesh," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajesh grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 20 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why are you kissing me?"

Rajesh: Thank you Honey. We are Saved! "HDFC & ICICI will definitely find us!"
ЁЯШДЁЯШДЁЯШД

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Salary day special !!!

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9.00 : *beep beep*.. Msg received...
Salary credited to ur a/c

Me : Yipeeee..

9.01 : *beep beep*
Home EMI auto debited..

9.02 : *beep beep*
Car loan EMI auto debited..

9.03 : *beep beep*
Credit card bill auto debited..

9.04 : *beep beep*
Phone bill auto debited..

9.05 : *beep beep*
Electricity bill auto debited..

9.06 : *beep beep*
LIC EMI auto debited..

9.07 : *beep beep*
Medical insurance EMI debited..

9.08 : *beep beep*
Pls maintain minimum balance...!!!
ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭ.

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Boss Trolls Employees

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One day all the employees reached the office and saw a big advice written on the door.

Yesterday the person who has been stopping your growth in this company passed away. You are invited to join the funeral.

In the beginning, they got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they got curious to know who was the man who stopped their growth.

Everyone thought: Well atleast the man who stopped my progress died!

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they were speechless. They stood shocked in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin and everyone who looked inside could see himself.

There was a sign next to the mirror that read:
There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth...It is you. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, success and realization.

Your life does not change when your boss friends or company change.....your life changes when you change...you go beyond your limiting beliefs and you realize you are the only one responsible for your life.
Its the way you face life that makes the difference!

If an egg is broken from outside force....life ends but if it is broken from inside force life begins. Great things always begin from our inside.ЁЯСН

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Why do boys go 2 temple?

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Q: Why do boys go 2 temple?
Ans: Bcoz temple is the place where we can find
Pooja
Deepa
Aarti
Archana
Akshatha
Aradhana
Amrita
Jyothi
Pushpa
Prarthana
Bhakthi
Nidhi
Teertha
Pratima
Sugandha...
God is Great.

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Telling a LIE

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Telling a LIE is
Innocence for a child
Sin for an adult
Art for a lover
Profession for lawyer
Must for politician
Management tool for a boss
A getaway for an employee
A habit for business man
An accomplishment for a bachelor
An excuse for a sub ordinate
             AND

A MATTER OF SURVIVAL for a married man....!!!

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Technical Difference ЁЯУЦ

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ЁЯШГЁЯШГЁЯШГ

What is the difference between welding and wedding ?

In welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, , whereas in wedding there is bonding first and sparks ⚡forever ...ЁЯЪй
ЁЯШЬЁЯШЬ
ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭ

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Girl's Live for her Mom

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A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile: my sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?
The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.
The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.
Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said: mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.

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Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

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Bill Gates: "So, how's heaven Steve?"
Steve Jobs: "Great it just doesn't have any walls or fences."
Bill Gates: "So...?"
Steve Jobs: "So, we don't need any Windows and Gates. I'm sorry Bill, I didn't mean to offend you."
Bill Gates: "It's ok Steve, but I heard a rumor."
Steve Jobs: "Oh, what rumor?"
Bill Gates: "That nobody is allowed to touch Apple there." ЁЯША
Bill Gates : "and there are no Jobs in heaven"
Steve Jobs : "Oh no, definitely there are but only no-pay jobs. Therefore definitely no Bills in heaven as everything will be provided free...." є╛М┤

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Terms & Conditions Apply

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Every time you talk to ur wife,
ur mind should remember that.......

'This conversation will be recorded for Internal Training and Quality purpose
And can Be used against U anytime even after 30 years ... ЁЯШЖЁЯШЖЁЯШЖ

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Killer Equations jokes

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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Husband trolls extremely his wife

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Wife: Before our marriage you took me to so many places like good restaurants, Cinema, resorts and so many other places too.
But after marriage you never took me to visit even one single place.

Husband: my dear wife, have you ever seen campaigning after election?????? ЁЯШВЁЯШВ

Wife shocked
Husband rocked !!!!

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Seven Wonders of Life -

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Seven Wonders of Life -
1. Your mother - who is the first person to welcome you in this world.
2. Your Father - who is the first person to go through all the hardships just to see you smile!
3. Your sibling - the first person to teach you the art of 'sharing and caring'.
4. Your friend - the first person to teach you how to respect people with different opinions and viewpoints!
5. Your love - the first person to make you realize the value of sacrifice and compromise and the first one for whom you've to fight the world to be together.
6. Your children - the first little person to teach you how to be selfless and think about others before yourself.
7. Your grandchildren - the only creatures who make you want to live the life, all over again... ЁЯШК

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joke of the decade

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This was ultimate... joke of the decade

Here's Santa @ His Best:

Santa calls up "TOI Chairman Vineet Jain"

Santa: "I want to  replace‪#‎ArnabGoswami‬ on TimesNow"

Vineet Jain : "Are you an idiot??"

Santa: "Why?? is it Compulsory???"ЁЯШ│ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША

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Wife's Memory Trolls Her Husband

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This one's a Ladies special...

Written by a lady...

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my bag. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is the car will be stolen.

Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, Description of the car, Place I parked etc, I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,

"Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.

"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."...

Don't laugh alone...send to other husbands or wives..

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Killer jokes

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ЁЯСП
Teacher - Can you please tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?"

Student :

"Smo-king & Drin-king " !!!

Teacher Resigned !ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШЗЁЯШЗ

Teacher: Who was Akbar ?  
Boy: Akbar was Gay. 

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that? 

Boy:- We have heard Laila - Majnu, Romeo-Juliet  
But Only 
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher diedЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ


This 1 is a killer 1 .....

Teacher : Students, what is the meaning of the green dot on the cover of britannia tiger biscuit?

Student : Tiger is online.ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ

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Saturday 25 July 2015

Killers Jokes

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SuperbЁЯСНЁЯСНЁЯСН
Doctor: Which soap do you use?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's soap.
Doctor: Paste?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's paste
Doctor: Shampoo?
Patient: - K. P. Namboodiri's shampoo.
Doctor: Is K.P. Namboodiri an international brand?
Patient: No. K. P. Namboodiri is my roommate !

├Ш  A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied – "My husband's cheque book !!"

├Ш A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called, 'Husband – the Master of the House'?  Sales Girl : "Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!".

├Ш Someone asked an old man : "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What's the secret ?
Old man : I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her.

├Ш A man in Hell asked Devil : Can I make a call to my Wife ? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing. Hell to hell is Free.

├Ш Husband to wife – Today is a fine day. Next day he says : Today is a fine day. Again next day, he says same thing – Today is a fine day. Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this "Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter?
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said, "I will  leave you one fine day." I was just trying to remind you……

Have a laugh, laughter is the best medicine...Pass it on!
Joke time.....ЁЯУвЁЯУвЁЯУвЁЯУвЁЯУв

ЁЯШЖЁЯШЖЁЯШЖЁЯШЖЁЯШЖ
...............................................

Argument between British and India.
British - we spoiled ur mother land for 200 yrs hahaha
India - hahaha we r spoiling your mother tongue evryday hahahahahaha

.................................

Sardar in computr exam.
Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?
Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...

New in Market...........fwd it quickly.....

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Amount of Sleep

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Argument with a Woman

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Funny One Liners

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ЁЯСП
Teacher - Can you please tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?"

Student :

"Smo-king & Drin-king " !!!

Teacher Resigned !ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШЗЁЯШЗ

Teacher: Who was Akbar ?  
Boy: Akbar was Gay. 

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that? 

Boy:- We have heard Laila - Majnu, Romeo-Juliet  
But Only 
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher diedЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ


This 1 is a killer 1 .....

Teacher : Students, what is the meaning of the green dot on the cover of britannia tiger biscuit?

Student : Tiger is online.ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ

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Who's K V Ramachandra Reddy?

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Great lines by K V Ramachandra Reddy:

"Change cannot be given to you every time. You must bring the change."
-

Who's K V Ramachandra Reddy?
He is a bus conductor. Now read it again!! ЁЯШЭЁЯШЭЁЯШЭЁЯШЭЁЯШЭ

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Absolute Classic

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ЁЯУМ Absolute Classic

Heated gold is called ornaments

Beaten copper is called wire

Compressed carbon is called diamond.

Heated,  beaten and compressed human is called HUSBAND!ЁЯШГЁЯШЬЁЯШК

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Fruit rangoli...at Mathura Dwarkadhish temple.

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Fruit rangoli...at Mathura Dwarkadhish temple.
This is a fruit rangoli. This is part of decoration for darshan of shri krishna during this auspicious month of adhik mas

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Thought for the Day :

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   Worry is the Most useless thing we can do.

   If we can solve the problem, there's No Need ЁЯШО to worry.

   If we cannot solve the  problem, there's No Use ЁЯЩЗ in worrying.

   Don't Worry, Be Happy ! ЁЯШК

⛄ЁЯС╗⛄ЁЯС╗⛄ЁЯС╗⛄ЁЯС╗⛄ЁЯС╗⛄

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N-amma Metro

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Public: the metro needs a name
TN govt: why?
Public: Bangalore's has one: Namma Metro
TN govt: OK then, let's knock off the 'N'

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роЙройроХ்роХு ро╡рои்родா ро░род்родроо் роОройроХ்роХு ро╡рои்родா родроХ்роХாро│ி роЪроЯ்ройிропா

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ЁЯМ║роХрогро╡рой் - роЪெро▓்ро▓роо் роОрои்родிро░ிроЯா роироо்рокро│ рокாроХ்роХ роЕрок்рокா роЕроо்рооா ро╡рои்родிро░ுроХ்роХாроЩ்роХ...

рооройைро╡ி - (роХроЯுрок்рокுроЯрой்) роХро▓்ропாрогроо் роЖроХி родройிроХ்роХுроЯிрод்родройроо்ро╡рои்родு роТро░ு рооாроЪроо் роХூроЯ роЖроХро▓ роЕродுроХ்роХுро│்ро│ ро╡рои்родுроЯ்роЯாроЩ்роХро│ா..?

ро╡ா்ро▒ро╡роЩ்роХ роТро░ு рокோрой் рокрог்рогிроЯ்роЯாро╡родு ро╡ро░ро▓ாроо்ро▓,
роЗройி роХாро▓ைропிро▓ роЯிрокрой், роородிропроо் роЪாрок்рокாроЯுрой்ройு рооூрогு роиேро░рооுроо் ро╡роЯிроЪ்роЪி роХொроЯ்ро▒род்родுроХுро│்ро│ роОрой் роЙроЪுро░ு рокோропிроЯுроо்...

роХрогро╡рой் - роПроп் роХொроЮ்роЪроо் рооெродுро╡ா рокேроЪு роиீ рокேроЪுро▒род роХேроЯ்роЯு роХோро╡ிроЪ்роЪிроХிроЯ்роЯு роЕро╡роЩ்роХ рокோропிроЯрок் рокோро▒ாроЩ்роХ...

рооройைро╡ி - рокோройா рокோро╡роЯ்роЯுроо் роЕрок்роЯிропாро╡родு рокுрод்родி ро╡ро░ுродாрой்ройு рокாроХ்роХро▓ாроо்...(роРрои்родு роиிроЯроЩ்роХро│் роХро┤ிрод்родு )

роХрогро╡рой் - роЙрог்рооைропாро▓ுрооே роЕро╡роЩ்роХ рокோропிроЯ்роЯாроЩ்роХроЯி...

рооройைро╡ி - роРропா, роЬாро▓ி...

роХрогро╡рой் - рокோро▒рок்рок роЕрод்родைропைропுроо் рооாрооாро╡ைропுроо் рокாроХ்роХро╡ே ро░ோроо்рок роХро╖்роЯрооா роЗро░ுрои்родродு...

рооройைро╡ி - (роЪро▒்ро▒ு роЕродிро░்роЪ்роЪிропுроЯрой்)ро╡рои்родродு роОроЩ்роХ роЕрок்рокா роЕроо்рооாро╡ா..

роХрогро╡рой் - (рооройроЪுроХ்роХுро│் роЪிро░்род்родுроХ்роХொрог்роЯே) роЖрооா.. роЙройроХ்роХு ро╡рои்родா ро░род்родроо் роОройроХ்роХு ро╡рои்родா родроХ்роХாро│ி роЪроЯ்ройிропா рокோроЯி).ЁЯМ║

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Height of Engineers in India

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An unemployed engineer graduate was looking out
for a
suitable job in his stream.
He attended several
exams and many personal interviews, only to
be
rejected.
.
.
.
.
Being fed up after so many months of his
job hunt, he decided to get into any job that
can
satisfy his food and daily needs.
.
.
.
.
.
He visited a
circus group and asked for a job.
But the owner
said that there wasn't any job for his education
level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to
act
as a monkey and perform funny actions. The
unemployed youth accepted the offer since he
can
at least afford his daily food.
.
.
.
.
.
So he dressed up as a monkey and entertained
the
audience. One day while he was performing the
monkey skills, he accidentally fell into the
lion's
ring.
.
.
.
.
Everyone was shocked as the monkey fell into
lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man
dressed up as a monkey.
The man himself was
dreadful and feared for his life.
He felt pity for
himself as he going to be a victim of
unemployment.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The lion came closer to him but didn't attack.
He
was surprised. The lion whispered,
"Abe
Gupta.....ghabra mat...!! Main hun tera senior,
Sumit trivedi. 2009 batch... computer science.."
ЁЯШЫ

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Life's Lesson To Learn From Child

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ЁЯЩЗ A very rich man took his son to a village to show what poverty is all about :

  After the trip, he asked his son about poverty...

The son replied :

We have 1 dog ЁЯРТ........... ......     They had 4....ЁЯРТЁЯРТЁЯРТЁЯРТ

We have a small pool....ЁЯЪ┐....They have a long river...ЁЯПКЁЯПКЁЯПКЁЯПКЁЯПК

We've lamps.....ЁЯТб they've stars...ЁЯОЗЁЯОЖ

We've small piece of land.......ЁЯПаThey've large fields......⛺⛺⛺⛺

We buy food.....ЁЯНЯЁЯНЪЁЯНЬ They grow theirs & eat fresh.......ЁЯОСЁЯОГЁЯНЖЁЯНаЁЯННЁЯНРЁЯМ╜ЁЯНМ

We have to play with computers.... They have real friends to play.....ЁЯСлЁЯЪ╢ЁЯЪ╢ЁЯЪ╢.....

We have money which is supposed to make us happy.....  They have happiness hence they do not need money..ЁЯШДЁЯШГЁЯША ......ЁЯТ╕ЁЯТ╢

Their fathers have time for their childrens.....ЁЯСк & Our fathers don't have.......⏰

The boy's dad was speechless.....ЁЯЩК

Then boy said ''Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are

      Awesome..........ЁЯСНv ЁЯСМ ЁЯТп ✅

Life's interpretation.

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Placement Trolls in Colleges

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Parents asked college watchman,"Is this a good college?"
watch man: "probably the best. I did my engineering here & got  campus placement ЁЯШЭЁЯШВЁЯШЭ

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роХோро╡ிро▓் роЕродிроЪропроЩ்роХро│்..!

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роЕрои்род роХாро▓род்родிро▓் роХோро╡ிро▓் роХроЯ்роЯுроо் рокோродு роТро╡்ро╡ொро░ு роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓ுроо் роПродாро╡родு роТрой்ро▒ை родройிрод்родрой்рооைропுроЯрой் роЕрооைрод்родройро░்.

роЖройாро▓் роТро╡்ро╡ொро░ு роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓ுроо் роПродாро╡родு роТро░ு родройிроЪ்роЪிро▒рок்рокு роЙрог்роЯு!

роЕро╡ைроХро│ிро▓் роЪிро▓:

1. роЙро▒்роЪро╡ро░் роЕро▓்ро▓ாрооро▓் рооூро▓ро╡ро░் ро╡ீродிропிро▓் ро╡ро▓роо் ро╡ро░ுро╡родு роЪிродроо்рокро░роо். - роироЯро░ாроЬ роХோропிро▓்

2. роХுроо்рокроХோрогроо் роЕро░ுроХே "родாро░ாроЪுро░роо்" роОрой்ро▒ роКро░ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ роРро░ாро╡родீро╕்ро╡ро░ро░் роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓்роЙро│்ро│ роЪிро▒்рокрод்родிро▓் ро╡ாро▓ிропுроо் роЪுроХ்ро░ீро╡ройுроо் роЪрог்роЯை роЗроЯுроо் роХாроЯ்роЪி роЙро│்ро│родு. роЗроЩ்роХிро░ுрои்родு ро░ாрооро░் роЪிро▒்рокроо் роЗро░ுроХ்роХுроо் родூрог் родெро░ிропாродு. роЖройாро▓் ро░ாроорой் роЕроо்рокு родொроЯுроХ்роХுроо் роЪிро▒்рокрод்родிро▓் роЗро░ுрои்родு рокாро░்род்родாро▓் ро╡ாро▓ி роЪுроХ்ро░ீро╡рой் рокோро░் рокுро░ிропுроо் роЪிро▒்рокроо் родெро░ிропுроо்.

3. родро░்роорокுро░ி рооро▓்ро▓ிроХாро░்роЬுрой роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ роиро╡ாроЩ்роХ роорог்роЯрокрод்родிро▓் роЗро░ு родூрог்роХро│ிрой் роЕроЯி рокூрооிропிро▓் рокроЯிропாродு.

4. роХро░ூро░் рооாро╡роЯ்роЯ роХுро│ிрод்родро▓ை роХроЯроо்рокро╡ройроиாродро░் роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓் роЗро░роЯ்роЯை роироЯро░ாроЬро░் родро░ிроЪройроо் роЪெроп்ропро▓ாроо்.

5. роХро░ுроЯாро┤்ро╡ாро░் роиாрой்роХு роХро░роЩ்роХро│ுро│் роЗро░ு роХро░роЩ்роХро│ிро▓் роЪроЩ்роХு роЪроХ்роХро░роо் роПрои்родிропрокроЯி роХாроЯ்роЪி родро░ுроо் ро╕்родро▓роо் роХுроо்рокроХோрогроо் роЕро░ுроХே ро╡ெро│்ро│ிропроЩ்роХுроЯி. 108 родிро╡்ропродேроЪрод்родிро▓் роЗроЩ்роХுроороЯ்роЯுроо் роЗродு рокோро▓் роХாроЯ்роЪிродро░ுроХிро▒ாро░்.

6. роиாроЪ்роЪிропாро░் роХோро╡ிро▓் роХро▓்роХро░ுроЯрой் роЪрой்ройродிропிро▓் 4 рокேро░் родூроХ்роХுро╡ாро░்роХро│் рокிрой்рокு 8,16, роХோро╡ிро▓் ро╡ாроЪро▓ிро▓் 64 рокேро░் родூроХ்роХி ро╡ро░ுро╡ாро░்роХро│் роХро░ுроЯройுроо் рооுроХрод்родிро▓் ро╡ேро░்ро╡ை родுро│ிро░்роХ்роХுроо்.

7. ро╕்ро░ீрокெро░ுроо்рокுродூро░ிро▓் роЙро│் ро░ாрооாройுроЬро░் роЙро░ுро╡роо் ро╡ிроХ்ро░ро╣рооோ, ро╡ேро▒ு роЙро▓ோроХрок் рокொро░ுро│ாро▓் роЖрой ро╡роЯிро╡рооைрок்рокோ роЗро▓்ро▓ை.роХுроЩ்роХுроорок்рокூ, рокроЪ்роЪை роХро▒்рокூро░роо் роХொрог்роЯ рооூро▓ிроХைрок் рокொро░ுро│ாро▓் роЖройродு.

8. родிро░ுроиெро▓்ро╡ேро▓ி-роХроЯைропроо் роЕро░ுроХே роиிрод்роп роХро▓்ропாрогி роЙроЯройுро▒ை ро╡ிро╕்ро╡роиாродро░் роХோропிро▓ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ ро╡ிро▓்ро╡рооро░род்родிро▓் ро▓ிроЩ்роХ ро╡роЯிро╡ிро▓் роХாроп் роХாроп்роХ்роХிро▒родு.

9 роХுроо்рокроХோрогроо் роЕро░ுроХே родிро░ுроиро▓்ро▓ூро░ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ роЪிро╡ро▓ிроЩ்роХрод் родிро░ுрооேройி роТро░ு роиாро│ைроХ்роХு 5 рооுро▒ை ро╡ெро╡்ро╡ேро▒ு ро╡рог்рогроЩ்роХро│ிро▓் роиிро▒роо் рооாро▒ுро╡родாро▓் "рокроЮ்роЪро╡ро░்рогேро╕்ро╡ро░ро░்" роОрой்ро▒ு рокெропро░்.

10. ро╡ிро░ுродுроироХро░், роЪொроХ்роХроиாродрой்рокுрод்родூро░ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ родро╡роирои்родிроХேро╕்ро╡ро░ро░் роЖро▓ропрод்родிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ роирои்родிроХ்роХு роХொроо்рокோ, роХாродுроХро│ே роЗро▓்ро▓ை.

11. роЖрои்родிро░ாро╡ிро▓் роЪாрооро▓் роХோроЯ்роЯை роЕро░ுроХே роЙро│்ро│ 3 рокிро░родாрой роЪாро▓ைроХро│ிро▓் роЪрои்родிрок்рокிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ 72 роЕроЯி роЖроЮ்роЪроиேропро░்роЪிро▓ைропிрой் роХрог்роХро│ுроо்-роЪிро▓ роиூро▒ுрооைроХро│ுроХ்роХு роЕрок்рокாро▓் роЙро│்ро│ рокрод்ро░ாроЪро▓ роЖро▓ропрод்родிро▓் ро╕்ро░ீро░ாроорой் родிро░ுро╡роЯிроХро│ுроо் роТро░ே роороЯ்роЯрод்родிро▓் роЙро│்ро│рой.

12. ро╡ேро▓ூро░் роЕро░ுроХே роЙро│்ро│ ро╡ிро░ுроЮ்роЪிрокுро░роо் роОрой்ро▒ родро▓род்родிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ роХோропிро▓் родூрогிрой் родெрой்рокுро▒роо் роЕро░்род்род роЪрои்родிро░ро╡роЯிро╡ிро▓் 1 рооுродро▓் 6 ро╡ро░ைропுроо், 6рооுродро▓் 12 ро╡ро░ைропுроо் роОрог்роХро│் роЪெродுроХ்роХிропுро│்ро│рой. рооேро▒்рокுро▒роо் роЙро│்ро│ рокро│்ро│род்родிро▓் ро╡ро┤ிропே роТро░ு роХுроЪ்роЪிропை роиீроЯ்роЯிройாро▓், роХுроЪ்роЪிропுрой் роиிро┤ро▓் роОрои்род роОрог்рогிро▓் ро╡ிро┤ுроХிро▒родோ роЕродுродாрой் роЕрок்рокோродு роорогி роЖроХுроо்.

13. роЪெрой்ройை-родிро░ுрок்рокродி роЪாро▓ைропிро▓் роКрод்родுроХ் роХோроЯ்роЯைродாрог்роЯி роиாроХро▓ாрокுро░роо் роОрой்ро▒ роКро░ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│ ро╕்ро░ீро╡ேрод роиாро░ாропрог рокெро░ுрооாро│் родро▓ைропிро▓ிро░ுрои்родு роЗроЯுрок்рокுро╡ро░ை рооройிрод роЙро░ுро╡роо், роХிро┤ே рооீрой்ро╡роЯிро╡роо் роХொрог்роЯுро│்ро│ாро░்.

14. родро░ுроорокுро░ி – рокாрок்рокாро░рок்рокроЯ்роЯி {16роХி.рооீ} роЗро░ுроХ்роХுроо் ро╕்ро░ீ роЕрокிро╖்роЯро╡ро░родро░் рокெро░ுрооாро│் роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓் роиро╡роХ்роХிро░роХроЩ்роХро│்
рокெрог்ро╡роЯிро╡ிро▓் роЙро│்ро│родு.

15. роородுро░ை рооீройாроХ்ро╖ி роЕроо்роорой் роХோропிро▓ிро▓் 14 роХோрокுро░роЩ்роХро│் роЙро│்ро│рой. ро╡ேро▒ு роОрои்род роХோро╡ிро▓ிро▓ுроо் роЗро╡்ро╡ро│ро╡ு роХோрокுро░роЩ்роХро│் роХிроЯைропாродு.

16. роХுроо்рокроХோрогроо் роЪாро░роЩ்роХрокாрогி роХோро╡ிро▓் роХோрооро│ро╡ро▓்ро▓ி родாропாро░ுроХ்роХு рокроЯி родாрог்роЯா рокрод்родிройி роОрой்ро▒ рокெропро░ுроо் роЙрог்роЯு - рокெро░ுрооாро│ோроЯு роОроХ்роХாро▓род்родிро▓ுроо் ро╡ெро│ிропே ро╡ро░ாрод роХாро░рогрод்родாро▓்.

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Child labour

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Thursday 16 July 2015

Every husband is a farmer

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Every husband is a farmer by default.
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His survival
solely depends on 'agree'culture...

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