Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Today's politics in India

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Reporter:- PM sir; which fruit do you like?

Modi:- Apple

Reporter:- Breaking news ---
Modi does not like Mangoes,  Bananas,  etc.

Let's ask Congress their views on this.

Manish Tewari:- Modi likes Apple means Red color.
This means he likes bloodshed.   This means he does not want peace and harmony in the country

Ahmed Patel:- This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.   He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.   This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for  Muslims.

Nitish Kumar:- This attitude of Modi is what made us split from NDA.

Rahul Gandhi:- Modi never says which chocolate he likes.

Arnab Goswami :  The nation wants to know why Modi likes apple more than other fruits.   The Nation has the right to know this.

Sonia Gandhi:- People of India please ask from where
Modi is going to get the money to buy such an expensive fruit.

Geelani:- This is Modi's tactic to usurp Kashmir.
We will not allow this to happen.

Yechuri:- Selecting an expensive fruit like Apple shows Modi is pro -  capitalist. It also means he is pro-corporate and wants to promote Apple products indirectly. Why is he not saying about Samsung, etc. We want a CBI enquiry.

Kejriwal:- Traditionally Mango is considered the King of Fruits.  Modi is anti tradition. This is against the interest of the aam aadmi.

Foreign Media:- Modi's communal policies are hurting the secular fabric of India.

Common man - God save this country

😀 😃😃😃😃

This is beautiful..,,  Couldn't stop myself from forwarding this Excellent message ...

😉😂😂

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Tuesday, 29 December 2015

My Wish

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A teacher came from the school. She was taking class of first standard students in a school named 'Little Angels'.

Yesterday she gave her students homework to write a something on topic 'My Wish'. Today students handed over the homework to her.

She thought to check at at home so brought those notes to home.

After the dinner she started checking homework done by the students. Her husband is strolling around with a smart phone playing his favourite game 'Candy Crush Saga'.

When reading the last note, the wife start crying with silent tears.

Her husband saw this and asked, 'Why are you crying dear? What happened?'

Wife: 'Yesterday I gave homework to my students, to write something on topic -My Wish-.'

Husband: 'OK, but why are you crying?'

Wife: 'Today while checking the last note, it makes me crying.'

Husband curiously: 'What's written in the note that makes you crying?'

Wife: 'Listen'

My wish is to become a smart phone.

My parents loves smart phone very much.

They care smart phone so much that sometimes they forgot to care me.

When my father came from office tired, he has time for smart phone but not for me.

When my parents are doing some important work and smart phone is ringing, within single ring they attend the phone, but not me even

even if I am crying.

They play games on their smart phones not with me.

When they are talking to someone on their smart phone, they never listen to me even if I am telling something important.

So, My wish is to become a smart phone.

After listening the note husband got emotional and asked the wife, 'who wrote this?'.

Wife: 'Our son'.

Gadgets are beneficial, but they are for our ease not to cease the love amongst family and loved ones.

Childrens sees and feel everything what happens with & around them. Things get imprinted on their mind with an everlasting effect. Let's take due care, so that they do not grow with any false impressions.

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Monday, 14 December 2015

"Excellence" is a drive from inside

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A German once visited a temple under
construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God...

Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby...
Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you
need two statues of the same idol?"
"No," said the sculptor
without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage..."

The gentleman
examined the idol and found no apparent damage...

"Where is the damage?" he asked.
"There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still
busy with his work....

"Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be
installed on a
pillar twenty feet high...

"If the idol is that far who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?"
the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said,

"I will know it..."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not....

"Excellence" is a
drive from inside, not outside....

Excellence is not for
someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency.

Don't Climb a Mountain with an Intention that the World Should See You,
Climb the Mountain with the Intention to See the World

Thought of worth sharing 🙏🙏🙏

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Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Chennai airport closed

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Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Never trust managers

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A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.

"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".

"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.

One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"

Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.

And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜

Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂

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Saturday, 14 November 2015

Power of Positive Words

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VERY INTERESTING - MUST READ - AGAIN AND AGAIN
------------------------
Power of Positive Talk ::
------------------------
I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.  My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.  I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. 

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.  Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.  If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."  People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.  These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.  So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you short changing yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."  If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.  Notice when you or other people use them. 
Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want.

This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.  Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball.
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

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Coca cola Pepsi trolled

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investment where you get guaranteed

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Sensex is high...
Gold is very costly...
And
Properties are not affordable....
So invest in relationships, feelings and friendships...

It is the only investment where you get guaranteed good and sweet returns...!!

Good  Morning  and good day

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Father and Mother

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Make your Choices Correct

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Saturday, 31 October 2015

Management to Branch Manager

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Management  to Branch Manager :
🐮🐮🐮🐮

The quarterly profit of Branch reduced. What the hell you are doing in the Branch ?

Branch Manager : Sir I am working hard for the Branch.

MGT: But you have not achieved any of your Targets.

BM: Sir I was behind the Targets in the beginning of the quarter.

MGT : Then why you not achieved it.

BM: Some of my loan proposals were rejected for one  reason or other.
Some customers dropped the proposal with us when we raised the query.
Still some idiots are waiting expecting that they may get loan from us.

MGT: If you  concentrate on Targets you should have achieved it.

BM: Sir by the time  got a call from ZO to concentrate on retail loan campaign to defeat another zone.

MGT : So you opened lot of retal loan accounts.

BM : No sir. Due to Maha login I was instructed to canvass life insurance policy.

MGT: Good . You might have canvassed good no of policies.

BM: No sir  I got a mail to make all accounts KYC compliant.
I was behind it.

MGT: So all your accounts are KYC compliant.

BM : No sir, I was instructed  to get Health / General insurance immediately.

MGT: So you made a good other income through Health/ General insurance.

BM : No sir by the time I got mail to clear verification of title deed, clear inspection comments, staff accountability, enroll all customers to Prime Minister Schemes etc.

MGT: And you have done all these.

BM : No sir , ZO/ RO instructed me to concentrate on Writeoff / NPA.

MGT:  So you have made good recovery.

BM : No sir by the time Quarter is over .

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

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Saturday, 3 October 2015

Why old people doesn't Use Internet Banking!?!?!

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I had spent an hour in the bank with Uncle, as he had to transfer some money. In a small SBI branch in a sleepy area of a small town. I couldn't resist the urge.

''Uncle, why don't we activate your internet banking?''
''Why would I do that?'' He asked
''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer. You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!'' I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked ''If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house? I wont have to come to the bank?''
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!

His answer left me tongue-tied. Our parents, have somewhere found the perfect balance. They enjoy seeing the photos we send them on Whats App but they have not broken their human ties. They have adopted technology on our insistence but not forgotten where it all began.

He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now. My kids are out of town and visit me now and then but this is the company that I need. I like to get ready and come to the bank. I have enough time, it is the physical touch that I crave. Two years back I got sick, very sick. The butcher from whom I buy meat, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried. The man who comes every month to collect my bills and goes and physically pays them for a nominal charge from me, has only that mean of earning and the only thing that keeps him busy in his retired life. My wife fell down few days back while on her morning walk. My local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live. Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
Why would I want everything delivered to me and force me to interact with just my computer? 

I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller' . It creates bonds. Relationships. Does Amazon deliver all this as well?'''

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Russian trolls Indian Doctor

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Respect yourself

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A man went to Guru Nanak Sahib and asked, "What's the value of life?"

Gurunanak ji gave him one stone and said, "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."

The man took the stone to an Orange Seller and asked him what its cost would be.

The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said, "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone." The man apologized and said that the guru has asked him not to sell it.

He went ahead and found a vegetable seller. "What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller. The seller saw the shiny stone and said, "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."

The man again apologized and said he can't sell it. Further ahead, he went into a jewelery shop and asked the value of the stone.

The jeweler saw the stone under a lens and said, "I'll give you 50 Lakhs for this stone." When the man shook his head, the jeweler said, "Alright, alright, take 2 crores, but give me the stone."

The man explained that he can't sell the stone. Further ahead, the man saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of this stone. When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he lay down a red cloth and put the ruby on it. Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of the ruby. "From where did you bring this priceless ruby from?" he asked. "Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't be able to purchase this priceless stone.

Stunned and confused, the man returned to the guru and told him what had happened. "Now tell me what is the value of life, guru ji?" Gurunanak said, "The answers you got from the Orange Seller, the Vegetable Seller, the Jeweler & the Precious Stone's Seller explain the value of our life...

You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but people will value you based on their financial status, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value."

Respect yourself. You are Unique. No one can Replace you!

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Friday, 2 October 2015

Grandson Trolls Grandpa

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Grandfather : when I was your age, I used to take two rupees to the market and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee and face powder , etc.
Grandson : nowadays it is difficult... there are cctv cameras everywhere
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Saturday, 26 September 2015

சென்னை இன்று மிகப்பெரிய மாநகரமாக விளங்க காரணம்

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MADRAS - The story of how MADRAS was formed ..........சென்னை இன்று மிகப்பெரிய மாநகரமாக விளங்க காரணம், பல சிறு சிறு கிராமங்களின் இணைவு தான். சிறுதுளி பெருவெள்ளம் என்பது போல் பல கிராமங்கள் இணைந்து சென்னை பிரமாண்டமாய் உருவெடுத்துள்ளது.

அப்படி இணைந்த கிராமங்களின் பெயர்கள் உருவானதின் பின்னணியை தெரிந்து கொள்வது சுவாரஸ்யமான ஒன்றே.

- 108 சக்தி ஸ்தலங்களில் 51வது ஊர். ஆகையால் ஐம்பத்து ஒன்றாம் ஊர் என்றுஅழைக்கப்பட்டு, பின்னாளில் இவ்வூர் அம்பத்தூர் என மாறியது.

- Armoured Vehicles and Ammunition Depot of India என்பதின் சுருக்கமே ஆவடி(AVADI)

- chrome leather factory இப்பகுதியில் அதிக அளவில் இருந்ததால் இப்பகுதிகுரோம்பேட்டை என அழைக்கப்படலாயிற்று.

- 17,18ம் நுற்றாண்டுகளில் நவாப் ஒருவரின் கட்டுப்பாட்டில் இருந்தது இப்பகுதி. அவருடைய குதிரைகளின் பசியை போக்கும் நந்தவனமாக இது விளங்கியதால், garden of horses என்னும் பொருள் படும் Ghoda bagh என்று உருது மொழியில் பெயர் வைத்தார். பின்னாளில் அதுவே கோடம்பாக்கமாக மாறியது.

- மகப்பேறு என்பதே மருவி முகப்பேர் ஆனது.

- தென்னை மரங்கள் நிரம்பிய பகுதி அது. ஆகையால் தென்னம்பேட்டை என பெயர் வைத்தார்கள். பிற்பாடு அது தேனாம்பேட்டையாக மாறிப்போனது.

- சையிது ஷா பேட்டை தான் சைதாபேட்டை என அழைக்கப்படுகிறது.

- முற்காலத்தில் வேதஸ்ரேணி என அழைக்கப்பட்டது தற்போதைய வேளச்சேரி.

- உருது வார்த்தையான che bage (six gardens என்பது இதன் பொருள்) என்பதிலிருந்து உருவானது தான் சேப்பாக்கம்.

- சௌந்தர பாண்டியன் பஜார் என்பதின் சுருக்கமே பாண்டி பஜார்.

- கலைஞர் கருணாநிதி நகரை சுருக்கி கே.கே. நகர் என அழைக்கிறோம்.

- சிவபெருமானுக்கு உகந்த வில்வமரங்கள் அதிகம் இருந்ததால் மகாவில்வம் என அழைக்கப்பட்ட இப்பகுதி, பின்பு மாவில்வம் என்றாகி, காலப்போக்கில் எப்படியோ மாம்பலமாகி விட்டது.

- பல்லவர்கள் ஆட்சி செய்ததால் பல்லவபுரம் என்றழைக்கப்பட்ட இடம் தான்பல்லாவரம்.

- சென்னை மாகாண முதல்வராக இருந்த பனகல் ராஜாவின் நினைவாக இவ்விடம் பனகல் பார்க் என அழைக்கப்படுகிறது.

- நீதி கட்சி தலைவர் சர். பி.டி.தியாகராஜன் செட்டியின் பெயராலேயே இப்பகுதி தியாகராய நகர் என அழைக்கபடுகிறது (தி.நகர்)

- புரசை மரங்கள் மிகுதியாக இப்பகுதியில் இருந்ததால், இப்பகுதி
புரசைவாக்கம் ஆனது.

- அதிக அளவில் மல்லிகை பூக்கள் பயிரிடப்பட்ட பகுதி இது. திருக்கச்சி நம்பி ஆழ்வார் தினமும் இங்கிருந்து பூக்களை பறித்துக்கொண்டு சென்று காஞ்சி வரதராஜபெருமாளை வழிபட்டுவந்தார். அதனால் இவ்விடம் சமஸ்கிருதத்தில் புஷ்பகவல்லி என்றும், தமிழில் பூவிருந்தவல்லி என்றும்
அழைக்கப்படுகிறது. பின்னாளில் இது பூந்தமல்லியாக மாறியது. வல்லி என்பது தெய்வத்தை குறிக்கும் ஒரு பெயர்.

- 17ம் நூற்றாண்டில் இங்கு வாழ்ந்து வந்த ஒரு முஸ்லீம் துறவி 'குணங்குடி மஸ்தான் சாகிப்'. இவரது சொந்த ஊர் ராமநாதபுரம் மாவட்டத்தில் உள்ள தொண்டி. ஆகையால் அப்பகுதி மக்கள் அவரை தொண்டியார் என அழைத்தனர். அந்த ஏரியா தான் தற்போதைய தண்டயார்பேட்டை.

- முன்பு இப்பகுதி ஆடு மாடுகள் மேயும் திறந்தவெளியாக இருந்துள்ளது.அதனாலேயே மந்தைவெளி என்றழைக்கபடுகிறது.

- மயில் ஆர்ப்பரிக்கும் ஊர் என்பதே (திரு மயிலை) மயிலாப்பூர் என மாறிப்போனது.

- பல்லவர்கள் காலத்தில் போர்கள் நடத்த இவ்விடத்தையே
பயன்படுத்தியதால், இப்பகுதி போரூர் எனப்படுகிறது.

- சில நூறு வருடங்களுக்கு முன்பு இப்பகுதி முழுவதும் மூங்கில் மரங்கள் இருந்தது. அதனாலேயே பெரம்பூர் எனப்படுகிறது.

- திரிசூல நாதர் ஆலயம் இருப்பதால் இந்த ஏரியா திரிசூலம் என்றுஅழைக்கப்படுகிறது.

- பார்த்தசாரதி கோவிலின் எதிர்ப்புறம் இருக்கும் குளத்தில் நிறைய அல்லிகள்பூக்கும். அதன் காரணமாக இப்பகுதிக்கு திருஅல்லிக்கேணி என பெயர் உருவாக்கி,பின்பு திருவல்லிக்கேணியாகி, தற்போது triplicane என
மாற்றம் கண்டுள்ளது.

- தாமஸ் பாரி என்பவர் இப்பகுதில் வணிகம் செய்துவந்தார். மக்கள் மத்தியில் மிகவும் மதிப்பு பெற்றிருந்த அவரின் பெயராலேயே இப்பகுதி பாரிமுனை (பாரிஸ் கார்னர்) ஆனது.

- City Improvement Trust என்பதின் சுருக்கமே CIT நகர்

எப்படி இருக்கு நண்பர்களே............

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Things not to ask in Chennai

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Feeling Missing

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When TV came to my house. I forgot how to read books.
When the car came to my doorstep, I forgot how to walk.
When I got the mobile in my hand, I forgot how to write letters.
When computer came to my house, I forgot spellings.
When the Ac came to my house, I stopped going under the tree for cool breeze.
When I stayed in the city, I forgot the smell of mud.
By dealing with banks, I forgot the value of money.
With the smell of perfume, I forgot the fragrance of fresh flowers.
With the coming of fast food, I forgot to cook idli and rice.
Always running around, I forgot how to stop.
And lastly when I got watsapp, I forgot how to talk.

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Zen Master says...

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Truth is effective when it is combined with fact.
We usually react when something goes wrong. In the heat of the moment we give corrections and others don't seem to understand. No one in the world is afraid to speak the truth. Everybody is afraid to face the consequences after the truth is told!
Then We tend to become confused, as it is difficult to make a choice whether to leave the situation as it is or to prove our point to the others. Unless truth is combined with fact we cannot make people realize their mistakes. When we find something going wrong, We need to wait for the right time for saying what We have to.
We also need to tell it in a way that the other person can understand.
Only then will our words have their impact on others.
Zen Master says...
The Centre focus of our life is spiritual
growth and peace, then all other things
will be around that. Your first and
foremost commitment in life is to be
with the Truth, to evolve in Truth.

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Friday, 25 September 2015

A silent but strong message..

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I crossed my street,
he asked my caste....
Crossed my district/town,
he asked my religion and city...
Crossed my state,
he asked my native language...
And I became an Indian
only after I crossed my country !!!
A silent but strong message..
Think about it.

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Education is not a degree or certificate. It is our attitude,

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This story is about a person working with a freezer plant.It was almost the day end. Everyone had packed up to check out.
A technical snag developed in the plant and he went to check.By the time he finished it was late. The doors were sealed and the lights were off.
Trapped inside the ice plant for the night without air and light, an icy grave was almost sure for him.Hours passed thus. Suddenly he found someone opening the door.Was it a miracle?The security guard entered there with a torch and helped him to come out.
On the way back the person asked the security guard, "How did you know that I was inside? Who informed you?" the guard said, "No one sir, this unit has about 50 people. But you are the only one who says "Hello" to me in the morning and "Bye" in the evening.You had reported in morning. But did not go out. That made me suspicious."
He never knew a small gesture of greeting someone would prove to be a lifesaver for him.
Remember to greet when you meet someone, of course, with a warm smile.You never know - it may work a miracle in your life too.
"Education is not a degree or certificate that can be shown to others as proof. It is our attitude, actions, language and behaviour with others in real life!"..

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Wisdom Comes With The Years...

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A 72 year old man had one hobby - he loved to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, ''Pick me up. '
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age - comes wisdom!

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USED vs. LOVED:

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While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life..... Things are to be used and people are to be loved. But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved....
In this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used, but People are to be loved.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

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A day in the military hospital....

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A General visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.
Its WWI, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration.
The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.
He goes up to the first man and says: "What brings you in here, my son?" The soldier replies: "sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful."
The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."
The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the second man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: "Sir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave."
The general laughs and says: "It happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."
The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the third man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier tells him: "sir, I got strep throat in the trenches."
The general asks: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "Actually sir, there is one thing... I'd like to be the first one to use the brush."

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Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Lemons vs Cancer

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Information to share:

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
AMAZING FROZEN LEMONS

Place the washed lemon in the freezer.

Once frozen, get your grater, and shred the whole lemon (no need to peel it) and sprinkle it on top of your foods!

On vegetables, salad, ice cream, soup, cereals, noodles, spaghetti sauce, rice, sushi, fish dishes, ... the list is endless.

All the foods will get an unexpected wonderful taste!

Most likely, you only think of lemon juice as vitamin C?? Not anymore! What's the major advantage of using the whole lemon other than preventing waste an adding new taste to your dishes?

Lemon peels contain as much as 5 to 10 times more vitamins than the lemon juice itself. And that's what you've been wasting!

Lemon peels are health rejuvenators in eradicating toxic elements in the body.

The surprising benefits of lemon is the miraculous ability to kill cancer cells!

It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy!!

Why do we not know about that?

Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits.

You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy.

How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the multimillionaires large corporations?

This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types.

It is considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure and an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.

The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that It destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including. colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas...

The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better effect than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells.

And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells. .

So, give those lemons a good wash, freeze them and grate them. Your whole body will love you for it!!

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
Request: forward to lots of friends

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India vs Pakistan

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Call from Bank

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One liners from ads

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(1) 
Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 

(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!) 

Don't laugh loud ---- 
The extended version says...

2)
Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

3)
Always keep your spouse's picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: "if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!

(4)
If wife wants husband's attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife's attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

(5)
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a 'Mistress' of her Husband…
"Miss" for first year & "Stress" for rest of the life…"!!!! 

(6)
Million Dollar Truth:
If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change your spouse!!

(7)
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.

(8)
Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..?

(9)
Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Pappu: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

(10)
Man outside phone booth: "Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven't spoken a word".
Man inside: "I am talking to my wife"

(11)
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- "sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot"

(12)
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(13)
Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake"
😜😜😜😂😂😂

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massive demand from all husbands

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😂😜😝
After massive demand from all husbands..........
A new app called.  "Fear"   is launched in iphone 7....
You just say..... 'Wife'..
and it immediately closes all websites,
hides all chats,
shuts down all games,
hide all special folders and deletes chat history!
and best above all,
it puts your wife's photograph as a wallpaper.
😄😄😄😘😜😜

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Wife trolls her husband working in IT company

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A man working in an IT company 🏢 became sick.. He consulted many multi facility hospitals 🏥.. Still couldn't get cured... He was sad... Then his wife 👩advised "why don't you consult a veterinary doctor?"   He was shocked 😨😳... He screamed at her.. Are you mad... 😡 She spoke softly nothing happened to me.... It is you having problem.. You wakeup early in the morning 🌞 like cock 🐔, take half bath like a crow 🐧 , eat something like a monkey 🐒,  then run to office like a race horse 🐴🐎, you work like a donkey 🐺,   there u scream to your juniors like a wild bear 🐻,   evening 🌝 you reach home and bark at us like a dog 🐕,   then you eat like a crocodile 🐊, 🌚 you go to bed and sleep like a buffalo 🐃 😴😴.......... That's the reason why I asked you to meet a veterinary doctor...... The man just sat 😳 

now wife asked why are looking at me like a owl.........
😂😂😀😃😭😰

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We all are living in a SERIOUSLY FUNNY world!!!!

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WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
👍     👍     👍     👍

Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT, called a STAND????
😣😣😣😣

Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN,
but nobody wants to DIE????
😱😱😱😱

In our country, we have FREEDOM of SPEECH, then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS????
😡😡😡😡

If money doesn't grow on TREES, then why do BANKS have BRANCHES?
😆😆😆😆

Why doesn't GLUE
stick to its BOTTLE????
😭😭😭😭

Why do you still call it a BUILDING, when its already BUILT????
😨😨😨😨

If it is true that we are here to HELP others, what are others HERE for????
😆😆😆😆

If you aren't supposed to DRINK and DRIVE,
why do bars have PARKING lots????
😲😲😲😲

If all the nations in the world are in DEBT,
where did all the MONEY go????
😧😧😧😧

When dog food is new with improved TASTE, who TESTS it????
😈😈😈😈

If the "Black Box" flight recorder Is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff????
🙀🙀🙀🙀

Who copyrighted
the copyright symbol????
🙈🙈🙈🙈

Can you cry under water?
😂😭😂😭

Why do people say "You've been working like a dog," when dogs just sit around all day????
😆😆😆😆

We all are living in a SERIOUSLY FUNNY world!!!!
😝😜😆😛

So Enjoy!!!! 😊😊😊😊

Hope this will make you laugh and think!!!!
😂😂😂

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Who betrayed whom😂😂

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Good Thought for the Day! Can I have responses with no gender bias please as this gives ones view point only.
😜😜😂😂
Absolute Classic!!!

A couple decided to commit suicide. After a rough life, they decided to jump off of a building. When they got to the top, they both counted to three. The man jumped, but the woman stayed. She watched him drop for about 8 seconds and then saw a parachute open.
Now the question is .......
Who betrayed whom😂😂

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Useful info for Android Users

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One motorist met with an accident. He was unconscious. One cab driver stopped the cab and called ambulance and police. He took the mobile of that guy to call the family members of that guy. Luckily that guy hasnt locked his mobile. But what if the mobile was locked(which we usually are habituated to keep) how would have we reached the family members of that guy. There is a solution to that problem. Most of us use android phones,  📲we have something called owner's info which will scroll on the lock screen. You don't need to enter any password to view the owner info. This will be continuously scrolling on the screen. Go to settings -> security or lock screen -> owners info. Enter your details like your name and emergency contact number.    This will take just 2 mins to implement. It will be helpful if you loose your phone or god forbid if something bad happens. Please forward this to your groups. This will save someone life one day.

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This driver was following the Google maps😜😜😜

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Technology Trolls... Technology rocks....!

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Technology rocks....!

Swamiji,  I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman.... what to do?
.
.
.
Take your husband to that woman's  doorstep...and see if his wi-fi connects automatically. .

😀😀😀

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Wife's curiosity to know her husband's future

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👳 Astrologer: Do u want to know about ur husband's future?

🙎 Wife: I will decide his future. Tell me his past.

😂😂😜😝

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Sex and Life

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🌞🔳Virginity is like a Balloon🎈, One prick👈 and it's gone for ever!

🔳Sex is like a pack of Chips🍟, Once you start!
You can't stop😝!

🔳An Exam paper📝 is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!🎍

🔳Education🏨 is like hiring a prostitute💃, It needs both your money💰 and your hardwork 😓...👤!

🔳💰💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand👋 can let you achieve it!

🔳Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !👙👙

🔳 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. Love a woman when she Fucks you.😳😳

🔳MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.😜😜

🔳The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!😝😝

🔳Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It's Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up😜😜

🔳Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute😰😰

🔳If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 😉😉

🔳If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible,  ask him to wear condom after sex!💄😱

So basically life is 👙PORNOGRAPHY👙
😂😂😂😂

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆
This is fucking too good.!

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Husband's Decent troll for his Wife

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Very touching story ..

A man purchased an Enfield Bullet 350cc .. so that he could take his girlfriend for long drives. But unfortunately, he was not able to talk to his girlfriend while riding on it because of the loud Bullet sound. He got fed up and sold his Bullet and bought Honda Activa.

After sometime, he got married to his girlfriend and a year later ....

He sold his Honda Activa and bought Enfield Bullet 500 cc again 😉😄😂

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Typical Conference Calls In Corporates:

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Caller1: Hi, this is Dheeraj from Wintel Team.
* Silence * waiting for others to Join*

Caller2: Hi, this is Mahesh from Backup & Storage Team.
* Silence * both waiting for others to Join*

Caller3: Hi, its Shyam from Unix Team
* Silence * All waiting for others to Join*

Caller4: Hello, Kuldeep from Management.
* Silence * All waiting for others to Join*

Caller5: Hi, this is Neha from Application Team.
All:
Hi Neha,
Hi Neha
Hello Neha
Hi Neha

😉

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Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !! Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!

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One of the BEST msg I have come across:Worth reading- 

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about

'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups !!!

(Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones......)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand,

the professor said:-

"If you noticed-

all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up,

leaving behind the ordinary ones !!

Everyone of you wanted the Best CUPS,

&

that is the source of your STRESS & TENSION !!

What you really wanted was

"Coffee", not the "Cup" !

But you still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee ;

Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc. are the Cups !!!

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !!

Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!
What is life ?
They say its from B to D...from Birthday to Death..But what's between B and D?
Its a  " C "  Choice ...
Our life is a matter of choices...
Live well and it will never go wrong....

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HR Manager in God's Place

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HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all
😝😝😝😝😝

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Stock Market is a Monkey Business

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There lived lot of monkeys in a village.

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys.

He announced that he will buy a monkey @  hundred rupees each.

The villagers thought that this man is mad

They thought  , how can somebody buy stray monkeys
.did anybody give 100 rupees
For this useless monkeys?
Still,some peoples caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave 100 rupees for each monkey. 😜

This news spread like anything and people caught monkeys and sold it to the🐥 monkey merchant.

After some days he announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each.😜

The lazy villagers ran around to catch the remaining monkeys🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

They sold the remaining monkeys @200 each.

Then the merchant announced that he buy monkeys @500 each.👍👍

The villagers  lost sleep. .They
Caught six or seven monkeys ,which was left and got 500 each...👍👌

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement. 😳😳

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for one week 😀😃
And when he returns. .he buy monkeys @ 1000 each...👍👍

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys.👨
He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.

The merchant went home ...🚘

The villagers were very sad that .There were no monkeys left for them to sell it at 1000 rupees.😭😭

Then his employee told them that he will give some monkeys @700 each secretly.
👍👍

This news also flashed like fire ,since the merchant buy monkey @ 1000 each.300 profit for one monkey...

LADDU 🌟🌟💥broke on villagers head...

The next day villagers made a quea near the monkey cage🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each😀😀😀😀

The rich bought monkeys in lot. The poor also borrowed money from financers and bought monkeys.

He sold all the monkeys @ 700 rupees .😁😁

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return.

But nobody came...😳
Then they ran to the employee. ...

But he has already left. .🙆🙆🙆🙆

Then the villagers realised
That ,they have bought the useless & stray monkeys
@ 700 each😳😳

This is the business ,now we
Call STOCK MARKET😀😀

This business has made a lot of people bankrupt &  a few people crorepathies in this monkey business. .😝😝😂😂.

How is the story of money market...no no ..monkey market ?😊if u like the story share with ur friends.let them also laugh....😂😂😂.

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Monday, 14 September 2015

Mon(k)ey Market

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There lived lot of monkeys in a village.

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys.

He announced that he will buy a monkey @  hundred rupees each.

The villagers thought that this man is mad

They thought  , how can somebody buy stray monkeys
.did anybody give 100 rupees
For this useless monkeys?
Still,some peoples caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave 100 rupees for each monkey. 😜

This news spread like anything and people caught monkeys and sold it to the🐥 monkey merchant.

After some days he announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each.😜

The lazy villagers ran around to catch the remaining monkeys🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

They sold the remaining monkeys @200 each.

Then the merchant announced that he buy monkeys @500 each.👍👍

The villagers  lost sleep. .They
Caught six or seven monkeys ,which was left and got 500 each...👍👌

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement. 😳😳

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for one week 😀😃
And when he returns. .he buy monkeys @ 1000 each...👍👍

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys.👨
He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.

The merchant went home ...🚘

The villagers were very sad that .There were no monkeys left for them to sell it at 1000 rupees.😭😭

Then his employee told them that he will give some monkeys @700 each secretly.
👍👍

This news also flashed like fire ,since the merchant buy monkey @ 1000 each.300 profit for one monkey...

LADDU 🌟🌟💥broke on villagers head...

The next day villagers made a quea near the monkey cage🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each😀😀😀😀

The rich bought monkeys in lot. The poor also borrowed money from financers and bought monkeys.

He sold all the monkeys @ 700 rupees .😁😁

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return.

But nobody came...😳
Then they ran to the employee. ...

But he has already left. .🙆🙆🙆🙆

Then the villagers realised
That ,they have bought the useless & stray monkeys
@ 700 each😳😳

This is the business ,now we
Call STOCK MARKET😀😀

This business has made a lot of people bankrupt &  a few people crorepathies in this monkey business. .😝😝😂😂.

How is the story of money market...no no ..monkey market ?😊if u like the story share with ur friends. Let them also laugh....😂😂😂.

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Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Management Medicine

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There was a king he had 10 wild dogs...
He used them to torture and eat all ministers who made mistakes.

So one of the minister's once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn't like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.

So the minister said,
"I served you 10 years and you do this..?

Pease give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!
So the king agreed…

In those 10 days the minister went to the guard that was guarding the dogs and told him he wants to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…

The guard was baffled…
But he agreed…
So the minister started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.

So when the 10 days were up…

The king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment.

But when he was thrown in,

Everyone was amazed at what they saw..
They saw the dogs licking the feet of the minister!

So the king baffled at what he saw… Said:" what happened to the dog. !!!"

The minister then said;"
I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn't forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!"…

So the king realised his mistake

and














Got crocodiles instead 😂

Moral : What management decided is decided..  though they are wrong, u will be screwed.

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Wednesday, 2 September 2015

A Girl chatting online with unknown man

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A Girl chatting online with
unknown man ........

Man:"Can u giv me ur e-mail id ?"

Girl:Sure........here it's...

"ihaveBoyFrnd.ilovehim@getlost.com"

Unknown man:Thanks.....here's my
e-mail id....

.
.
.
"imUrDad.comehome@TodayDiwaliforyou.com" 😡😬

😂😂😜😝😛😉😋
Dnt laugh alone .....
Pass it ....😀😀

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Best Joke in a competition held in Britain

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PASSWORD PROBLEMS:
 
WINDOWS:   Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER:   boiled cabbage
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
   
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 


WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER:  50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
  
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER:   50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER :  IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow
 
 
WINDOWS:   Sorry, that password is already in use.😂
(This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain)

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Useful Health Tips

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useful Health Tips:
😴😀

🐜  Ants Problem:
       Ants hate Cucumbers.
       "KEEP the skin of
        Cucumbers near the
        Place where they are
        or at Ant Hole.  

🎆  To make the Mirror
        Shine:
        "Clean with Sprite"

  💨 To remove Chewing
        Gum from Clothes:
        "Keep the Cloth in
        the Freezer for One
        Hour"

💭   To Whiten White
        Clothes:
        "Soak White Clothes
        in hot water with a
        Slice of Lemon for 10
        Minutes"

🙇  To give a Shine to
        your Hair:
        "Add one Teaspoon
        of Vinegar to Hair,
        then wash Hair"

🍋  To get maximum
        Juice out of Lemons:
        "Soak Lemons in Hot
        Water for One Hour,
        and then juice them"

🍞  To avoid smell of
       Cabbage while
       cooking:
       "Keep a piece of
        Bread on the
        Cabbage in the
        Vessel while cooking"

👕  To remove Ink from
       Clothes:
       "Put Toothpaste 🍥
       on the Ink Spots
       generously and let it
       dry completely, then
       wash"

🐀  To get rid of Mice or
       Rats:
       "Sprinkle Black
       Pepper in places
       where you find Mice &
       Rats. They will run
       away"

🍸 Take Water Before
       Bedtime..
       "About 90% of Heart
       Attacks occur Early in
       the Morning & it can
       be reduced if one
       takes a Glass or two
       of Water before going
       to bed at Night"

💐 We Know Water is
       important but never
       knew about the
       Special Times one
       has to drink it.. !!

       Did you  ??? 

💦 Drinking Water at the
       Right Time ⏰
       Maximizes its
       effectiveness on the
       Human Body;

       1⃣  1 Glass of Water
              after waking up -
             🕕⛅ helps to
              activate internal
              organs..

       2⃣  1 Glass of Water
              30 Minutes  🕧
              before a Meal -
              helps digestion..

       3⃣ 1 Glass of Water
              before taking a
              Bath 🚿 - helps
              lower your blood
              pressure.

       4⃣ 1 Glass of Water
              before going to
              Bed - 🕙 avoids
              Stroke  or Heart
              Attack.

🃏😄
🏁___🐎______________🐢...

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Sun's Question

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Who will work in my absence? 
Sun asked the entire world during sunset. Everyone remained silent,
But the candle whispered "Will Try My Level Best."
It's not the SIZE..... but the ATTITUDE that shines.
🌺😊🌺

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Thursday, 27 August 2015

Once upon a time without Technology

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Once upon a time!
When Window was just a square hole in a room & Application was something written on a paper. When Keyboard was a Piano and Mouse just an animal. When File was an important office material and Hard Drive just an uncomfortable road trip. When Cut was done with knife and Paste with glu. When Web was a spider's home and virus was flu. When Apple and Blackberry were just fruits .... That's when we had a lot of time for family and friends!😊

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All husbands can enjoy 😄😄😄

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🔴Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today . Husband : First make it, we will name it later ☺😋

🔴A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

🔴A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"

Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"
😝😝😝😝
Couldn't stop sharing this one...

🔴Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
😎😎😎

🔴Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝

🔴A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal :)
😜😜😜

🔴A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁

🔴Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
😳😳😳
..dedicated to all husbands 😛😛😛👏👏👏👌👌👌

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Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Definition of TIME !?

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Time is Slow when you wait!

Time is  Fast when you are late!

Time is Deadly when you are sad!

Time is Short when you are happy!

Time is Endless when you are in pain!

Time is Long when you feel bored!

Every time, time is determined by your feelings and your psychological conditions & not by clocks.

So Have A Nice Time Always....

😃😍😃😍😃😍😃

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Tuesday, 25 August 2015

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A man working in an IT company 🏢 became sick.. He consulted many multi facility hospitals 🏥.. Still couldn't get cured... He was sad... Then his wife 👩advised "why don't you consult a veterinary doctor?"   He was shocked 😨😳... He screamed at her.. Are you mad... 😡 She spoke softly nothing happened to me.... It is you having problem.. You wakeup early in the morning 🌞 like cock 🐔, take half bath like a crow 🐧 , eat something like a monkey 🐒,  then run to office like a race horse 🐴🐎, you work like a donkey 🐺,   there u scream to your juniors like a wild bear 🐻,   evening 🌝 you reach home and bark at us like a dog 🐕,   then you eat like a crocodile 🐊, 🌚 you go to bed and sleep like a buffalo 🐃 😴😴.......... That's the reason why I asked you to meet a veterinary doctor...... The man just sat 😳 

now wife asked why are looking at me like a owl.........
😂😂😀😃😭😰

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Psychology facts :

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⭕⭕⭕

Couples who spend at least 10 minutes a day laughing together are more likely to have a stronger relationship.

⭕⭕⭕
Any friendship that exceeds the 7 yr mark is more likely to last an entire lifetime.

⭕⭕⭕
You can judge a lot about a person's character by what they laugh at.

⭕⭕⭕
A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of talking about each other.

⭕⭕⭕
Kids who play video games tend to have better hand-eye coordination, a better memory, and better problem solving skills.

⭕⭕⭕
A person is more likely to use " K " in a text message when they have no interest in talking to you.

⭕⭕⭕
75% of women ask questions in which they already know the answer. This is why it's best to simply tell her the truth.

⭕⭕⭕
Everyone has a song in their playlist which they always skip, but never delete.

⭕⭕⭕
People who talk to themselves are more likely to have a high I.Q.

⭕⭕⭕
If you chew gum when you study a subject and then chew the same flavor when you the take the test it can help you remember.

⭕⭕⭕
Your body is actually designed to get 4 hours of sleep twice per day instead of 8 hours once!

⭕⭕⭕
Over thinking can cause physical and mental fatigue, it may also lead to chronic depression.

⭕⭕⭕
Ironically, sometimes the people who don't talk to you are the one's who really want to.

⭕⭕⭕
Psychology says, the best things in life are usually found when you are not looking for them.

⭕⭕⭕
According to old myths, the inability to fall asleep at night means you're awake in someone's dream

⭕⭕⭕
Smiles have been proven to be more attractive on a woman's face than makeup.

⭕⭕⭕
Lack of sleep makes it difficult to control emotions which is why people are more likely to cry or laugh uncontrollably at night. 

⭕⭕⭕
You were smiling while reading this message.

Keep smiling it suits you.😊🌼🌿😊

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Selfie

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5 years back in temples, it was written as "Mobile Phones Prohibited ". 2 years back it was changed as "Keep your mobile switched off". Last year it was changed as "Keep your mobile in Silent mode". It may eventually change as :

"If you wish to take a Selfie with Lord/Idol, please pay Rs.50 at the Counter " 😂😂🙏

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Boy frnd texts to his Girl frnd on WhatsApp ...

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.
BF - Hi
.
GF - Hello
.
BF - Wr ru darling...?
.
GF - Iam in my dads BMW car.
Iam going to club and from
there i will go to shopping mall.
I will send back the car and i
will call you. Where r u?
.
BF - Iam in the town bus sitting
behind u. Don't take the ticket, i
have already taken for u..!!

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Force of Kindness

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Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all." 

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Mother's Love is always Pure

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SUPERBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at an old age home and visited her on and off.

Once he received a call from the old age home. Your mom is very serious please come and visit her.

So the son went  and saw that his mom was very critical and on her dying bed.

He asked: Mom what can I do for you.

Mom replied : "Please install fans in the old age home, as there are none. Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food".

The son was surprised and asked : Mom, while you were here you never complained, but now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why?

Mom replied :r "It's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage.!

Superb, worth reading and to be forwarded. 👍👌

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What I Forgot

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When TV came to my house. I forgot how to read books. 
When the car came to my doorstep, I forgot how to walk. 
When I got the mobile in my hand, I forgot how to write letters. 
When computer came to my house, I forgot spellings

When the Ac came to my house, I stopped going under the tree for cool breeze
When I stayed in the city, I forgot the smell of mud. 
By dealing with banks, I forgot the value of money. 
With the smell of perfume, I forgot the fragrance of fresh flowers. 
With the coming of fast food, I forgot to cook dal and rice. 
Always running around, I forgot how to stop. 
And lastly when I got watsapp, I forgot how to sleep

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American attacked by Pakistani terrorists.

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A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?

Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.😂😂😂

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A Nice Poem abt Day Today People

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Don't know who wrote this.. Hats off to him

Man O Man!
When without money,
eats vegetables at home;
When has money,
eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant.
.
When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money rides the same 'exercise machine'.
.
When without money walks to earn food
When has money, walks to burn fat;

Man O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself!
.
When without money,
wishes to get married;
When has money,
wishes to get divorced.
.
When without money,
wife becomes secretary;
When has money,
secretary becomes wife.
.
When without money, acts like a rich man;
When has money acts like a poor man.
Man O Man! Never can tell the simple truth!
.
Says share market is bad,
but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil,
but keeps accumulating.
.
Says high Positions are lonely,
but keeps wanting them.
.
Says gambling & drinking is bad,
but keeps indulging;

Man O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means..

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Ultimate Wedding Trolls

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(1) 
Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 

(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!) 

Don't laugh loud ---- 
The extended version says...

2)
Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

3)
Always keep your spouse's picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: "if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!

(4)
If wife wants husband's attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife's attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

(5)
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a 'Mistress' of her Husband…
"Miss" for first year & "Stress" for rest of the life…"!!!! 

(6)
Million Dollar Truth:
If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change your spouse!!

(7)
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.

(8)
Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..?

(9)
Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Pappu: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

(10)
Man outside phone booth: "Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven't spoken a word".
Man inside: "I am talking to my wife"

(11)
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- "sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot"

(12)
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(13)
Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake"
😜😜😜😂😂😂

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God's Troll for a Jealous Man

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🔔God : What do you want?
Boy : A very beautiful girl.
God : If you are muslim, I'll give you "Katrina".
If you are hindu, I'll give you "Kareena".
If you are sikh, I'll give you "Anushka" and if you are christian, I'll give you "Genelia".
What's your name.?
Boy : Abdul Vijay Singh Fernandes.
God to his angel: Rascal is acting smart give him "Radhe Maa" 😂

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An Episode from Dr Mark's Diary

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Dr. Mark, a well-known cancer specialist, was once on his way to an important conference in another city where he was going to be granted an award in the field of medical research.

He was very excited to attend the conference and was desperate to reach as soon as possible. He had worked long and hard on his research and felt his efforts deserved the award he was about to obtain.

However, two hours after the plane took off, the plane made an emergency landing at the nearest airport due to some technical snag. Afraid, that he wouldn't make it in time for the conference, Dr. Mark immediately went to the reception and found that the next flight to the destination was after ten hours. The receptionist suggested him, to rent a car and drive himself down to the conference city which was only four hours away.

Having no other choice, he agreed to the idea despite his hatred for driving long distances.
Dr. Mark rented a car and started his journey. However, soon after he left, the weather suddenly changed and a heavy storm began. The pouring rain made it very difficult for him to see and he missed a turn he was supposed to take.

After two hours of driving, he was convinced he was lost. Driving in the heavy rain on a deserted road, feeling hungry and tired, he frantically began to look for any sign of civilization. After some time, he finally came across a small tattered house. Desperate, he got out of the car and knocked on the door. A beautiful lady opened the door. He explained the matter and asked her if he could use her telephone.
However, the lady told him that she doesn't have a phone or any electronic gadget but told the doctor to come inside and wait till the weather improved.
Hungry, wet and exhausted, the doctor accepted her kind offer and walked in. The lady  gave him hot tea and something to eat. The lady told him that he can join her for prayer. But, Dr. Mark smiled and said that he believed in hard work only and told her to continue with her prayers.
Sitting on the table and  sipping the tea, the doctor watched the woman in the dim light of candles as she prayed next to what appeared to be a small baby crib.

Every time she finished a prayer, she would start another one. Feeling that the woman might be in need of help, the doctor seized the opportunity to speak as soon as she finished her prayers. The doctor asked her what exactly she wanted from the God and enquired if she thought God will ever listen to her prayers. He further asked about the small child in the crib for whom she was apparently praying. The lady gave a sad smile and said that the child in the crib is her son who is suffering from a rare type of cancer and there is only one doctor Mark who can cure him but she doesn't have money to afford his fee and moreover Dr Mark lives in another far off town. She said that God has not answered her prayer so far but said that God will create some way out one day and added that she will not allow her fears to overcome her faith.

Stunned and speechless Dr Mark was in tears which were rolling down his cheeks. He whispered, God is great and recollected the sequence of events. ....there was malfunction in the plane, a thunderstorm hit, and he lost his way; and all of this happened because God did not just answer her prayer but also gave him a chance to come out of materialistic world and give some time to the poor hapless people who have nothing but rich prayers.

Always be prepared to do .......
What God has prepared you for

" There are No Accidents in Life"

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