Friday 9 December 2016

Demonetisation

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How we see the same situation from different perspectives...

*Exhibit A*

*_A Small Story_*

To hunt crocodiles, the pond was dried.
No crocodiles were found because they can live on land too.

But all the small fish died.

This story has nothing to do with Demonetisation.




*Exhibit B*

*_The longer version of the small story_*

In another village the pond had really dirty water .. For years (about 60) despite having a huge pond poor farmers had to look upwards to the sky for water for their families ..the pond was never cleaned. The crocodiles were never hunted and no one cared if the fishes died . The water remained murky and could never be used for drinking. The entire village never grew to its potential. Then one day a man took upon himself the challange and decided  to clean the water. Some people who used to sell water tankers to the villagers were not happy and they did every bit to make sure that the man would not succeed.. They threw back dirt in water.. They pulled out the dead fish and called it outcome of water cleaning act.. They blamed it on the guy who was cleaning the water..

While most saw what was happening some still went wayward..

These guys now said that they could still see the crocodile in the water.. They said hey.. The crocodiles are still there .. We can clearly see them. So whats changed

Now thats the moral of the story.. This was never about hunting the crocodile..

This was always about giving fresh water to the village and to make sure the crocs are visible.. So that if they need to be hunted they can be hunted

This long story has everything to do with demonetization and as for the man who wanted to clean the water ..

He's now  planning other cleanups..

So.. in the end that's just how you look at it...🙂

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Go Cashless

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The Prime Minister said,
"Go Cashless"......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Only ATM's have taken it seriously.
😁😀😬😇

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One Way

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During the Soviet dictatorship of Stalin, he (Stalin) came to one Politburo meeting with a live chicken. He started to pluck its feathers one by one off.

The chicken quacked in pain, blood oozing from its pores. It gave out heartbreaking cries but Stalin continued without remorse plucking feather after feather until the chicken was completely naked. After that, he threw the chicken on the ground and from his pockets, took out some chicken feed and started to throw it at the poor creature. It started eating and as he walked away, the chicken followed him and sat at his feet feeding from his hand.

Stalin then told members of his party leadership "This chicken represents the people, you must disempower them, brutalise them, beat them up and leave them. If you do this and then give them peanuts when they are in that helpless and desperate situation, they will blindly follow you for the rest of their life.They will think you are a hero forever. They will forget that, it is you who brought them to that situation in the first place."

Does this sound familiar?

Should not blame Appollo hospital.  When you enter greams Road and turn towards Appollo hospital, there is a sign board 'One Way'.   In spite of that many are admitted.😜

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Volumes of confusion

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One day an  aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots' cockpit when he saw a book entitled "How to fly an aeroplane for beginners. Volume One".

He opened the first page which said, "To start the engine, press the red button.".  He did so and the airplane engine started.

He was happy and opened the next page. "To set airplane moving press the blue button."

He did so and the aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.

He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, "To let the aeroplane fly, please press the green button."

He did this and the plane started to fly.
He was excited!!!!!!

After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.

He fainted after reading the instructions…….

The fourth page read, "To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!!

Title of the book was

DEMONETIZATION.
(The govt too is confused now as to how to land safely.)

😄😄😄

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Monday 7 November 2016

Saudi Arabia is banning Chess Game

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Saudi Arabia is banning chess, calling it a dangerous game....
Reasons are :
1. Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. And....Most importantly, there's only one Queen !!
😁😂😂😂

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Taxation addiction

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wife:-  Darling, how much do you love me ????

Husband:-    86.5%

Wife:-   Huh, why it is not 100%   ????

Husband :-  13.5% VAT is applicable on all transactions.

😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

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US presidential election results

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The US Presidential
choice is now all about
choosing between ....

the one who was weak
with E-mails and the
one who was weak
with Fe-males....!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA

😂😂😂

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Saturday 5 November 2016

Taj hotel group's Workshop by a Japanese

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MUDA
The Taj hotel group had invited Mr. Masai Imai from Japan to hold a workshop for its staff.
The staff were very sceptical - the hotel is doing excellent business, this person from Japan has no exposure to hotel industry - what exactly is he going to teach?
But everybody gathered as planned for the workshop in the conference hall sharp at 9 am.
Mr. Masai was introduced to them - a not so impressive personality, nor was  the English all that good.
"Good morning! Let's start work. I am told this is a workshop; but I see neither work nor shop.
So let's proceed where work is happening Let's start with the first room on the first floor."
That happened to be the laundry room of the hotel.
Mr. Masai entered the room and stood at the window, "beautiful view!" he said.
The staff knew it; they need not invite a Japanese consultant to tell them this!
"A room with such a beautiful view is being wasted as a laundry room. Shift the laundry to the basement and convert this into a guest room."
Nobody had ever thought about that!
The manager said, "Yes, it can be done."
"Then let's do it," Mr. Masai said.
"Yes sir, I will make a note of this and we will include it in the report on the workshop that will be prepared."
"Excuse me, but there is nothing to note down in this. Let's just do it,
just now." said Mr. Masai.
"Just now?"
"Yes, decide on a room on the ground floor/basement and shift the stuff out of this room right away. It should take a couple of hours, right?" asked Mr. Masai.
"Yes."
"Let's come back here just before lunch. By then all this stuff will have got shifted out and the room must be ready with the carpets, furniture etc. and from today you can start earning the few thousand that you charge your customers for a night."
"Ok, Sir." The manager had no option.
The next destination was the pantry. The group entered. At the entrance were two huge sinks full of plates to be washed.
Mr. Masai removed his jacket and started washing the plates.
"Sir, Please, what are you doing?" the manager didn't know what to say and what to do.
"Why, I am washing the plates",  said Mr. Masai.
"But sir, there is staff here to do that."
Mr. Masai continued
washing, "I think sink is for washing plates, there are stands here to keep the plates and the plates should go into the stands."
All the officials wondered - did they require a consultant to tell them this?
Mr. Masai asked, "How many plates do you have?'
"Plenty, so that there should never be any shortage." answered the Manager.
Mr. Masai said, "We have a word in Japanese -'Muda'. Muda means delay, Muda means unnecessary spending.
One lesson to be learned in this workshop is to avoid both. If you have plenty of plates, there will be delay in cleaning them up. The first step to correct this situation is to remove all the excess plates."
"Yes, we will say this in the report" said the Manager.
"No, wasting our time in writing the report is again an instance of 'Muda'.
We must pack the extra plates in a box right away and send these to whichever other section of Taj requires them Throughout the workshop now we will find out where all we find this 'Muda' hidden."
And then at every spot and session, the staff eagerly awaited to find out Muda and learn how to avoid it.
On the last day, Mr. Masai told them this story...
"A Japanese and an American, both fond of hunting, met in a jungle. They entered a deep jungle and suddenly realized that they had run out of bullets.
Just then they heard a lion roaring. Both started running. But the Japanese took a short break to put on his sports shoes.
The American said, "What are you doing? We must first get to the car."
The Japanese responded, "No. I only have to ensure that I remain ahead of you."
All the participants engrossed in listening to the story, realized suddenly that the lion would stop after getting his victim!
"The lesson is: competition in today's world is so fierce, that it is important to stay ahead of other, even by just a couple of steps. And you have such a huge and naturally well endowed country. If you remember to curtail your production expenditure and give the best quality always, you will be miles ahead as compared to so many other countries in the world.", concluded Mr. Masai.
MUDA!
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Friday 4 November 2016

Wife's troll for Army commando

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Wednesday 2 November 2016

Every Husbands' Dream

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Wednesday 20 July 2016

Performance, Not Position That Counts.....!!!!!!

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A Priest dies & is waiting in line at Heaven's Gate.

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy :
'' Who Are You....???? ''

Guy :
'' I am Udupi -Mangalore Express Bus driver.....!!!! ''

God : Take this Gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

God to the Priest : Who Are You.....???? ''

Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.

God :
'' Take this cotton Robe and enter heaven......!!!! ''

Priest :
'' God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a Gold &
I spent all my life preaching Good, get Cotton......!!!!! ''

God :
'' Results, my son, Results......

While you Preached,
People Slept,
When he drove,
People Really Prayed.......''

" It's Performance, Not Position That Counts.....!!!!!! "

Awarded As The Best Corporate Joke.

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Saturday 11 June 2016

சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் : மாட்டுனா 'மாவு கஞ்சி' தான்.!

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காலம் போகும் போக்கை பார்த்தால் எதுவும் மிஞ்சாது போலிருக்கின்றது. எங்கும் ஊழல், எதிலும் ஊழல் என்பதை ஹேக்கர்களும் கையில் எடுத்து கொண்டுள்ளனர். இம் முறை நமது சிம் கார்டு மூலம் நமக்கே தெரியாமல் ஆப்பு வைக்க ஹேக்கர்கள் காத்திருக்கின்றனர்.

சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் எனப்படும் புதிய ஊழலில் சிக்கியவரின் அனுபவம், மற்றும் நீங்களும் இந்த ஊழலில் சிக்காமல் இருக்க என்ன செய்ய வேண்டும் 

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மூத்தவர்

மும்பையை சேர்ந்த 72 வயதான பெண்மனி தான் சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் ஊழலில் சிக்கினார். தனது வங்கியில் இருந்து 11 லட்சம் எடுக்கப்பட்டதாக தனக்கு வந்து குறுந்தகவல் மூலம், தான் ஏமாற்றப்பட்டதை அறிந்து கொண்டார். 

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ஊழியர்

இந்த பெண்மனி முன்னதாக அமெரிக்க தூதரகத்தில் பணியாற்றி வந்தவர் என்பதோடு ஹேக்கர்கள் இவரின் கிரெடிட் கார்டு தகவல்களை கொண்டு ரூ.11 லட்சத்திற்கு விமான பயணச்சீட்டுகளை முன்பதிவு செய்திருப்பது குறிப்பிடத்தக்கது. 


முதலில் ஹேக்கர்கள் இவரின் சிம் கார்டினை குளோன் செய்து, வங்கியிற்கு அழைப்பு விடுத்து பெண்மனியை போன்றே பேசி வங்கி தகவல்கள் மற்றும் கிரெடிட் கார்டு தகவல்களை தெரிந்து கொண்டுள்ளனர். 

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சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் என்பது புதிய வகை சைபர் குற்றமாகும். இதன் மூலம் யார் வேண்டுமானாலும் ஓட்டாண்டியாக கூடும். உங்களது தகவல்களை பயன்படுத்தி உங்களது பணம் முழுவதையும் ஹேக்கர்கள் எடுத்து கொள்ள அதிக வாய்ப்புகள் இருக்கின்றன.

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குறிப்பிட்ட மென்பொருள் மற்றும் சிம் கார்டு ரீடர் இருந்தால் போதும், அனைத்து தரவுகளையும் காலி சிம் கார்டில் பதிவு செய்திட முடியும். 

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இதனினை ஓடிஏ எனப்படும் ஓவர்-தி-ஏர் கமாண்ட் மூலம் பாதுகாக்கப்பட்ட குறுந்தகவல்களை கொண்டும் அனுப்ப முடியும். இதனினை தொழில்முறை ஹேக்கர்களால் மட்டுமே மேற்கொள்ள முடியும். 

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உங்களது சிம் கார்டு குளோன் செய்யப்பட்டுள்ளதை கண்டறிய, உங்களது மாதாந்திர கட்டண ரசீதில் நீங்கள் மேற்கொண்ட அழைப்புகளை சரி பார்ப்பதன் மூலம் தெரிந்து கொள்ள முடியும்.

உங்களின் மாதாந்திர கட்டண ரசீதில் உங்களுக்கு தெரியாத நம்பர்களுக்கு அழைப்பு மேற்கொள்ளப்பட்டிருந்தால் கோளாறு இருப்பதை அறிந்து கொள்ள முடியும். 

ஒருவேலை மற்றவர்கள் உங்களுக்கு அழைப்பு விடுத்தாலோ, அல்லது அழைப்பு விடுக்கும் போது உங்களது நம்பர் பிஸி டோன் வந்தாலும் உங்களது சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் செய்யப்பட அதிக வாய்ப்புகள் இருக்கின்றது.


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சிம் கார்டு குளோனிங் செய்யப்படாமல் இருக்க, யாரிடம் மொபைல் போனினை வழங்குகின்றோம் என்பதை சிந்தித்து செயல்படுவது நல்லது. உங்களது மொபைல் போனினை அறிமுகம் இல்லாதவர்களிடம் வழங்குவதை தவிர்க்க வேண்டும். 

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ஒரு வேலை கருவியில் பிரச்சனை ஏதும் இருப்பின் அங்கீகரிக்கப்பட்ட சரி செய்யும் மையங்களில் மட்டும் வழங்குவது வீண் பிரச்சனைகளை தவிர்க்க உதவும். மேலும் கருவிகளை வழங்கும் போது அதில் சிம் கார்டு இல்லாததை உறுதி செய்திட வேண்டும். அறிமுகம் இல்லாதவர்களிடம் மொபைல் போனினை சரி செய்ய வழங்க வேண்டாம்.

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உங்களுக்கு அறிமுகமில்லாத நம்பர்களில் இருந்த வரும்  அழைப்புகளை தவிர்க்க வேண்டும். 

ஒரு வேலை அறிமுகமில்லாத எண்களில் அழைப்புகளை ஏற்கும் பட்சத்தில் மறுமுனையில் யாரேனும் குறிப்பிட்ட நம்பர்களை அழுத்த கோரும் போது அழைப்பினை துண்டிப்பது நல்லது. நீங்கள் ஏதேனும் நம்பரை அழுத்தும் போது 

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பாதுகாப்பு காரணங்களுக்காக வங்கி சேவைக்கென தனி சிம் கார்டு பயன்படுத்துவது நல்லது. இந்த நம்பரை யாருடனும் பகிர்ந்து கொள்ளாமல் இருப்பது உங்களது தகவல்களுக்கு கூடுதல் பாதுகாப்பினை வழங்கும்.

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இது போன்ற ஊழல்களுக்கு மற்றவர்களை குறை கூறுவதை தவிர்த்து, ஊழல்களில் இருந்து காத்து கொள்வது மற்றும் இந்த தகவலை மற்றவர்களுடன் பகிர்ந்து கொள்வதே அனைவருக்கும் சிறந்தது ஆகும்.
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Friday 13 May 2016

Exams in the pattern of IPL

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Students are demanding to conduct exams in the pattern of IPL 😳

** EXAM DURATION-2 hours

** FOR EVERY 15 MINUTES THERE SHOULD BE A BREAK ....😛

** FOR UNIMPORTANT QUESTIONS GIVEN IN THE QUESTION PAPER FREEHIT SHOULD BE GIVEN 🤔

**FIRST 30 MINUTES IS POWER PLAY (that means there should be no invigilator in the exam hall)😄

**AT EVERY EXAM HALL THERE SHOULD BE CHEER GIRLS 👯

** IF ANY OF THE STUDENTS TAKE ADDL. SHEET...
CHEER GIRLS SHOULD ENCOURAGE &DANCE👯👯👯😅😆😅😝😜😝😝😝😝🙈🙊🙉

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Friday 22 April 2016

God Sue Satan

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An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of
comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this
engineer is going to come up with next."

God is horrified.

"What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake--he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! " Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm
keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"

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Monday 18 April 2016

Fastest People on Earth

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Time Immortal Friendship of Kate Winslet and Leonardo Di Caprio

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Speed at NASA

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Thursday 14 April 2016

switch to "Human Mode" from auto mode...!!!

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😩 42°+ temperature in many places.... some one wrote to Sun...

Dear Sun,

Please go to settings>display>brightness and lower your brightness! Please, its too hot to handle!

🌞 Sun's reply...

I have not changed any settings. Please go to your settings and...

1. Increase number of trees...
2. Reduce carbon emissions levels...
3. Reduce concrete jungles...
4. Increase number of lakes...

Basically, switch to
"Human Mode"
from auto mode...!!!

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Sunday 10 April 2016

Amazing Lens At Right Timing

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Sceneries Pic Dump collection

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Eyes Cooling Wallpapers collection pic dump

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Cool Beautiful Pictures pic dump

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